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Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Met with my therapist and my partner for the first time in years today. Usually it is just me but my partner asked to go so I said why not. She is concerned about my health and my recovery from my upcoming knee surgery. We talked a lot about her fears and my fears - i did a lot of crying. I explained how frustrated and angry I was over not being able to do the things I used to do before all this and how it is effecting my relationship with my partner. My partner assured assured she was in it for the long haul and that is why she came today to find out the best way to proceed. In a sense I feel like i am getting "taken care of" and i really hate that feeling. I'm used to being very independent and able to do things for myself. Now I'm having to rely on my partner more and more. Which creates a lot of tension around here. I have another test on the 5th and I'm hoping for good results - so far no results have been good. I just need to be able to go into my surgery with a clear head and able to focus entirely on my rehab. I never thought I would have a chronic illness in my life but I guess nobody plans for that. My partner said today that I need to enjoy the little successes. Like yesterday I was able to fill and empty the dishwasher 2x. I guess that is something but I'm still struggling to see it. Never take you health for granted because in a flash it could be gone. What I have is found in 1 in 100.000 people and I had never heard of it before so I was hit completely out of the blue. I am trying to educate myself, reach out for support, when I have questions I call my dr and I take my meds even though I do not like the side effects. I guess the "Acceptable side effects" are better then drastic measures right now. I have conquered many hurdles in my life and I will find a way to get over this one. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can.........
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JUNEAU2010
    Your partner is a trooper! That can be rare....
    2150 days ago
    2154 days ago
  • BETRHO48
    You CAN get through this. Seems like your partner is working very hard to be there for you......something you need right now.
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    2154 days ago
    It's a hard adjustment to go from being able to do for yourself to needing someone's help so it makes sense that you have tension in your relationship. When I don't feel good about myself it usually comes out in the relationship--more fights, irritation, etc. It's good that you recognize and talk about what your feeling so that it doesn't impact your relationship. It sounds like your doing what your need to to take care of yourself, taking your medication and getting ready for your surgery. Hope you have a great day!
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    2154 days ago
  • GORDON66
    Even though you might not like leaning on your partner, now is the time to do it. Get all the help and care you need, because you just might find that someone you love is going to need to lean on you.



    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2155 days ago
    Keep thinking you can and it will happen!
    2155 days ago
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