LONG POST ALERT! ONE Year in Maintenance....what a ride!
Wow! One year down in Maintenance! Holy crap. That pretty much sums it up. Holy crap I still can’t believe I lost the weight. Holy crap I can’t believe it’s been a year since losing the weight. And holy crap…maintenance is hard! Ha! Over and Over again I read success story after success story about how hard maintaining the loss was. How up to 80% of people who have lost significant amounts of weight put it back on, sometimes more , in 2 years. And honestly….i can totally understand that happening.
For a lot of us being overweight wasn’t because we were lazy…because we eat too much…okay…well those are partly true BUT it’s also a mental thing. Some trigger foods for me are like an alcoholic thinking, “oh I’ll just have 1 beer”. It doesn’t stop at one. Never does. And that’s why I tipped the scale at 293lbs. I was emotionally eating, I was overeating, I wasn’t getting any activity in. I just lost myself. I let my weight and food addiction take over and almost ruin my life. I’m still so grateful to my 293lb old self for taking that first step to get me to where I am now. She wanted something better. She wanted a life. And she gave that to me. I can run , I can play around with my nephews and niece without feeling like I’m going to die, I can….live. And after experiencing this new type of living I gotta admit….I am absolutely terrified of going back. I don’t want to be a statistic. I don’t want to be in that 80%. I don’t want that old life.
This year has been so different from any year of my life. I spent most of my life binge eating and feeling sorry for myself. Then I spent 2 + years trying to lose this weight and do it right. Last year was a year of goals. I was determined. I achieved. This year…well I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was in limbo. I was trying to set some small fitness goals to keep myself on track but I got lazy. I was starting to eat how I used to but then I’d catch myself and get back on track. It was a year of trying to figure out what to do with this new body, this new journey, this new life. It’s safe to say I bounced around 2-12 lbs all year. I”d have a bad few months then work it all off. Some may say that’s not a lot of weight considering how much I lost but to me it is because I worked SO hard to get 138lbs off. Hell I worked hard to get ONE pound off. And eventually those 5…7..12 lbs can become 15…20…50! It’s a slippery slope that I do not want to go down.
I’ve learned a lot this year about myself. About boundaries, weaknesses, and strengths. Nothing feels as great as when you go to bed proud of how you spent your day. That’s not just in regards to diet/exercise but really to everything. Were you kind? Were you patient? Did you do this day justice? This entire journey has been mentally, emotionally and physically draining and I’ve learned so much. I’ve reached things I NEVER thought I’d reach. As the year ends I’m looking back and learning from my mistakes and working to better myself in respects to my health and outlook on life. I lost a friend this year in an accident and it was a slap in the face to how short life can be. How it can all end in an instant. I’m trying to forgive my past, get excited about the future , but more importantly to LIVE in the present.
I don’t know guys. I mean…life is so amazing. It’s sad, its crazy, its exciting…its…a gift. I took a hold of mine and did something for myself to try and give myself MORE of life. I’m pushing myself to be healthier, to be active and to be an all around better person. Don’t dwell on the # on the scale. If I don’t like it , fix it. Don’t get mad over dumb things because theres so many GREAT things. If you want something….GET it. The world is yours. I know that sounds corny but it’s true.
So what can I say I learned most about my 1st year of maintenance?? I guess….I guess I can say I’ve learned to live. I’ve learned to appreciate