I think I forgot how hunger feels
Thursday, January 08, 2015
It happened slowly over the years. Every time I went in for my annual checkup, my doctor would note my weight increase and we'd chat about exercising more. And every year I'd be motivated for a few weeks to do something and then lapse back into old habits because - well, it's just a few pounds, isn't it? And aren't I getting older, and isn't this weight gain normal?
Until last October when my weight hit 178 lbs, and my bmi climbed to 30.6, and I heard the word "obese" for the first time. But worst was my blood pressure, going through the roof. Okay, no longer so normal, and no longer acceptable.
So I'm in the 8th week of this PSMF. The first couple of weeks were *hard*. Not just the denying myself so many foods I love, but also trying to figure out how to feed myself within the constraints of the diet. I ate a pork chop for breakfast one morning, and felt ill. I'm in my 8th week now, and have the food thing figured out. It's not *fun* but it's a lot easier. It helps that my family is so supportive.
I just weighed myself and am getting back on track this week after an irresponsible two weeks of holiday feasting. I was good about staying away from carbs, but I certainly did not stick to my allotment of protein each day. Getting back on track meant being hungry at times, again. I don't think I was hungry once during the holidays. I don't think, before I started the PSMF, I had been hungry in a very, very long time. I grew up being hungry a lot, since our family had very modest circumstances. But as an adult, I always indulged myself - our kitchen is very well stocked! PSMF meant feeling hungry again, between meals and at night. In a perverse way, it makes me feel healthier. It feels like I'm giving my body rest from digestion, and time to go through normal biological cycles, instead of working overtime just dealing with digesting food all the time. Well, intellectually I think it's a good thing. In real time, it's always a little struggle whenever the hunger hits. I deal with it by finding a chore to do around the house, or daydreaming about what I will eat when I start refeeding in a month or two. I think about eating fruit, like a banana. That's got to be healthy, right? Fantasizing about eating fruit?