I don't understand why watching my husband eat makes me so mad.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
I guess I am angry from dieting and don't understand why I get so upset. I Have blessed with reading an article on "Do you suffer from Diet Rage". I found it on SparkPeople and at first I read it and forgot to safe it and I known I needed to find it. I began a 2week journey to find my article and I did. It is so wonderful it talks about driving and being angry about traffic, and yelling at other drivers, which I do. I know it is about me and food and dieting. I wish I could be able to understand why eating upsets me so much. My husband has started eating better more and more veggie. I guess I am jealous that he can eat everything good and enjoy it. I feel like I am being punished for not being able good food. I grew up not eating only at night in my closet, my mom had mental problems and she would try to poison me and my family when we ate. so I was able to figure out to only eat in my closet at night. Mainly peanut and jelly sandwiches. I just discovered while writing this the word punished came up and that is what I feel punished because when I was little I had to survive and food was a big part of it. Wow I have learned a lot just talking to all my Sparkpeople. I need to some time to start journal more. Thanks for helping me in my little steps to healing myself.