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I don't understand why watching my husband eat makes me so mad.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

I guess I am angry from dieting and don't understand why I get so upset. I Have blessed with reading an article on "Do you suffer from Diet Rage". I found it on SparkPeople and at first I read it and forgot to safe it and I known I needed to find it. I began a 2week journey to find my article and I did. It is so wonderful it talks about driving and being angry about traffic, and yelling at other drivers, which I do. I know it is about me and food and dieting. I wish I could be able to understand why eating upsets me so much. My husband has started eating better more and more veggie. I guess I am jealous that he can eat everything good and enjoy it. I feel like I am being punished for not being able good food. I grew up not eating only at night in my closet, my mom had mental problems and she would try to poison me and my family when we ate. so I was able to figure out to only eat in my closet at night. Mainly peanut and jelly sandwiches. I just discovered while writing this the word punished came up and that is what I feel punished because when I was little I had to survive and food was a big part of it. Wow I have learned a lot just talking to all my Sparkpeople. I need to some time to start journal more. Thanks for helping me in my little steps to healing myself.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good to see the process of writing the blog helped bring you some clarity.

    Keep at it..
    1866 days ago
    Your blog showed up in my friend feed, and I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for that little girl in the closet. That hurts my heart that you went through that. Maybe you can look at the healthy foods as a way to nourish and care for that little girl...to give her what her mother should have and didn't. emoticon
    1868 days ago
  • SOFT_VAL67
    my feller can get anything and he does. he is the same age as me, 47 and he eats like a teenager, chips, fries, and his new favorite thing is string cheese, which he will eat 3 in a setting.
    he drinks gatorade and energy drinks and never ever exercises and is the same weight he has always been.
    and i think after so many years of watching and listening to him eat, i put my head phones on and listen to music so i wont go beserk.
    1869 days ago
    What a personal story. Thank you for sharing with us. So many of us are holding on to things we learned to cope with as we grew up. My new mantra is build a bridge becasue there is a way to get over this...whatever it is.
    1869 days ago
    Thanks everyone, I think it Is mind over veggies I have started eating them more I think my anger is from something I think I connect to eating right. I did start drink my 3/4 cup of beet juice. It helps with brown spots on my face and black under my eyes. And I weighted 205 today from 206.5. I think I need to let go and let God. emoticon emoticon
    1869 days ago
    Your story is very sad. Thank goodness you no longer have to live that way. I don't understand why you can't have veggies though. They are good for you and most people can eat them in some form.
    1869 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2704340
    Thanks for sharing your story. We're here to listen and support each other. Blogging/journaling can be very therapeutic. Keep Sparking!
    emoticon emoticon
    1869 days ago
    Woohoo...a journal I believe will really help you on your journey and help you see things really clearly...
    I know journaling does that for me....
    Woohoo...go you...you can do this and reach your goals....
    1869 days ago
    1869 days ago
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