SP Premium
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 38,543

Having a fat day. It is a good day for me to tell myself to "shut it"!

Thursday, February 05, 2015

For 730 days I treated myself poorly. I ate what I wanted hid from scales and mirrors. I was the master of dodging from pictures. I let myself go because I was so miserable with my life. I had no self esteem or strength to put toward me because I was being the person holding my family together.
45 days ago I took back my life. I told my family that I deserve to be happy. That they need to take care of their problems themselves and I will be here to support them but I am miserable doing it all. Time for them to step up.
What has happened in 45 days? They are stepping up. No life is not perfect but it is improving. My husband is doing his own thing. My girls are being more responsible. I am pleased that they listened to my plea. I have put myself first. I am eating low carb and feeling good about myself for the first time in a long time. I have lost 18 lbs that I intend on never finding again.
Today is a bad day. I feel fat. I have eaten good all week. I have exercised a couple of times. I just feel....meh. So I have to say this.... Shut it! Shut the self doubt talk off. Shut the put downs that you are thinking off. Shut the self sabotaging behaviors off! I am doing this. I am caring for myself. I am being kind to myself. So maybe this week will be a maintenance week and I will not feel great. But I am going to shut this foul mood before it undoes all of the hard work that i have put in for the past 45 days.
I can do this and I am going to check my negativity at the door. Time for some sunshine!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Here is your Sunshine!! emoticon emoticon
    2259 days ago
    I am like you - everyone else first.
    My work, husband, son, friends - and I take care of myself last.
    Probably why I am sick right now.

    It is hard to do & everyday I get up & say TODAY IS MY DAY!
    I am glad for you & shut that door!
    emoticon emoticon
    2259 days ago
    Yup I've learned to just let those feelings pass or interrupt them and focus on any good feelings I have as much as possible. The weight will come off with time don't focus on how much further you have to go. Focus on today. Do you feel new muscle? I always loved the feeling that being lightly sore gives, it made me feel slim even if I still had fat left needing to leave. Focus on the good feelings as much as possible just look at it neutrally as just a thought or just a feeling and it will pass. They lose strength when we don't fight them or feed them. I interrupt them with something good and positive like "I'm doing my best to improve my health" or "I am beautiful right now my weight does not change my beauty." sometimes we have to change the story we are telling ourselves. We all have feelings of fat or slim and they come and go on a whim. I just try to do my best to encourage the positive ones more because I live in a real body and it's not going to be perfect ever so we each have to learn to love it just as it is.
    You Are Beautiful! RIGHT NOW!
    2259 days ago
    Great post! So glad your family is showing you how much you mean to them by stepping up when you asked! I love the positive talk! I'm having a bad week myself (as you saw in my blog post) but tomorrow is another day!
    2260 days ago
    You have come such a long way! You can do it! Go out and have some fun! Take it easy the rest of the week!
    2260 days ago
    thanks for posting this Jeanne. Cuz it's just what I needed this week. Xoxo. Love that uu have found YOU time.
    2260 days ago
    Yep, shut it - and then go do something that makes your heart sing. I don't know what that is for you - me, I love to go for a walk near the creek in my neighborhood, or a trip to the beach, or donate some time somewhere. We all have those days, but letting them fester and feed our self doubt can cause us to fall off our path to better health! You are doing awesome on your journey!

    You are sooooooo lucky to have sunshine where you are - it is cold, gray and snowy here in Michigan. Sunshine always lifts my mood. Go soak some up for yourself - and a little extra for me too!

    Enjoy! You got this! emoticon
    2260 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.