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Feeling defeated.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

I have been thinking today about my initial weight loss and the regain of 30 some pounds. I know part of the regain is medication. The part that just makes me want to scream at myself is the over-eating thus creating pain in my knees and spine from the weight. emoticon I have fallen back into a pattern of unhealthy eating and little to no exercise. emoticon I did so well for 3 years. I took of 80 pounds and was under 200 pounds. emoticon My knees didn't hurt. I wasn't eating for comfort. emoticon I could walk and not get winded. emoticon My self esteem and confidence was up. What happened? What rocked my world? Why did I stop taking my medication? I have yet to figure that out. So much I don't remember in 2013.

I know one thing. I feel vulnerable. Not sure I will ever feel anything other than that. I know I am rambling. I just wanted to get it out. See if that would help. Something has got to make me feel like I deserve to be healthy. I can't keep beating myself up for what is in the past. This PTSD is just killing my psyche. The EMDR has got to work. I am tired of the flashbacks. The feelings that come with them. I am not that little girl anymore. I am an adult the past needs to be dealt with and left there. I am not sure that will ever happen. I can hope.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FRAN0426
    Angie, there are others that deal every day with weight problems do to meds we are on. I am one of them, weight loss is not easy with all the meds I am on. However, I will not go off medication I need to lose weight. Take this one day at a time, do what you can to help by eating right and exercising when and how much you can handle.
    2204 days ago
    do your best to focus on the things that you CAN do. I know that it's difficult, but I KNOW that you can do what you put your mind to do.
    2205 days ago
  • BOPPY_
    I'm looking forward to reading your plan, right, her!

    Lee emoticon
    2205 days ago
    One thing at a time to get back on track. Start with the meds. emoticon
    2205 days ago
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