I gained some weight this week. Today was the first day all week that I ran. I made some poor choices this week, and it shows. But I’m not here to vent. I’m not deep in the pit of despair wondering how I’m ever going to climb back out. I don’t feel like a failure. How do I feel? Happy, content, relaxed, loved, normal, and, yes, even successful.
Wait, how do weight gain, poor choices, and successful all fit together? How can I feel happy, content, and successful after the week I’ve had?
I’ve had STEPH-KNEE’s blog on my mind since I read it yesterday. www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
She is overweight and happy! She feels like a success even if she’s not the typical success story. One thing that strikes a chord with me is that she is happy while still wanting more. I want to lose not only the weight that I’ve gained but also another 10 or so pounds. And, yet, I realize that I’m also happy right where I am at this moment.
My daughter came home from college for her Spring Break last Friday. I started this week by driving with my daughter to meet my older son, his fiancée, and her mother at a bridal show. A bridal show isn’t really our cup of tea…well, except maybe for my son’s future mother-in-law. We had such a fun time, though, people watching, getting different ideas, and eating too much free food. Most of all, I spent several hours with people that I don’t get to see nearly often enough anymore. Happy, content, relaxed, loved, normal. I didn’t worry once about how I looked or if people were thinking about my weight. I did not have to think about how I was going to safely navigate through the crowds or whether I’d fit in certain spaces. That would not have been true when I weighed over 260 pounds…SUCCESS!
Two days this week, my daughter and I went out cross country skiing at a local nature center. Up hills, down hills, around fields and through the woods for almost two hours each time. We had such a great time soaking up the sun, laughing when we fell, and just being together. Happy, content, relaxed, loved, normal. Cross country skiing is not something that I would never have suggested or been able to do when I weighed 260 pounds…SUCCESS!
Two days this week, my daughter and I went out for lunch. Yes, that’s where many poor choices came into play. But I didn’t panic or get stressed out about strictly following my plan. I enjoyed my food. I enjoyed our conversation. Happy, content, relaxed, loved, normal. Yes, I wish that I had made a few different choices, but I am glad that I was able to be less rigid than I have been. I am glad that I didn’t let those choices define my entire being as I would have in the past. I also didn’t have to worry about whether I’d fit into a booth or how I was going to walk through the dining room past chairs that seemed too close together. I didn’t worry about whether anyone was watching what I was eating. SUCCESS!
I ran today. It wasn’t my fastest or longest or best feeling run. But I ran today. SUCCESS!
Even though I made some poor choices, it wasn’t a week of gluttony. I was mindful most of the time. I didn’t abandon my goals completely. I didn’t let a poor decision or two affect my entire day. I don’t even consider all the choices that were anti-goal to be poor choices. Some were worth postponing my goals for. Others were not. Those were the poor choices. I’m slowly learning which choices I wouldn’t make next time. I still woke up early every morning to get my T25 workout done before getting my younger son out the door for school and myself ready for work no matter how tired I was or how late I stayed up the night before. SUCCESS!
As sad as I’ll be to watch my daughter drive off on Sunday, I am ready to get back into my usual eating and exercising routines. I am excited about getting back out to run every day. I wouldn’t trade the week I had with her for anything, but I also am ready to make the choices that will lead me toward my goals. I have not given up. I am not going to regain all the weight that I have lost. I am still living the healthier lifestyle with just a few temporary adjustments. You know, what most people do for special occasions, holidays, vacations. Happy, relaxed, content, loved, normal! SUCCESSFUL!
It’s more than ok to be overweight and happy. It’s necessary to be happy where you are. Happy doesn’t come from the number on the scale or the amount of space that you take up. It doesn’t mean that you don’t want more for yourself. Happy needs to start deep inside. If it’s not there when you’re overweight, it won’t suddenly appear when you reach your goal.
Stephanie and I may not be the typical Success Stories. We may still be slightly overweight. And yet, in every sense of the word, we are SUCCESSFUL!