Thursday, April 09, 2015
Back in 2010 (I believe) I was super active on this site. I had gone from like 403 to 209 pounds and was absolutely happy with my progress. But then life happened. I left my husband and got into a difficult relationship with an alcoholic and then I left him and got married to someone else...then got pregnant. I am not trying to make excuses for my current weight (351) but the reason I gained was worth it. It all started after I left the alcoholic. I was very depressed. I thought I could save him but as it turns out, I couldnt. He didn't want to be helped and that made me depressed and eat. I went from 209 to 245. I met my current husband at 245 and after a few months of recovering from depression I got into his bad eating habbits. He ate out for every meal...and I kept telling myself just one more time...but I couldn't stop. Then I weighed myself and I was 281! I got so depressed again but I snapped out of it and started walking and exercising again and got down to 265. I was happy but then I started having issues with our relationship and I gained weight again. I was really angry at myself when I stepped on the scale and it said 290 pounds. I spent a few weeks trying to be healthy and failing. I felt angry all the time and my mom kept telling me to take a pregnancy test. I couldn't figure out why since I was told in my early 20s that I couldn't have kids. She kept telling me I was acting like she did when she was pregnant so I finally took a test to shut her up. I was stunned when it said positive. I didn't believe it until I went to the doctor. It was true, I was indeed pregnant. I was 5 weeks when I found out and at 6 weeks I was bleeding. I was put on bed rest for most of my pregnancy. I kept gaining weight and there was nothing I could do about it. That made me depressed and I eat when I'm depressed....so by the time I had my son at 36 weeks I weighed 352 pounds. My recovery was brutal. My incision kept opening, and I had to have a wound vac and it was painful. Even after my incision healed my insides hurt so bad and I was exhausted from taking care of my son that I didn't exercise. I lost a few pounds but after a while I gained it back. It's been 5 months since my son was born and I feel ready to get a hold of myself and get back on track. Wish me luck!