Sunrise - Sunset
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Sunrise - Sunset
Well, today was weight in day for me. How excited I was, knowing that I’d reach my magic number for the week, knowing that I’d be in a “better place” and that I would feel a wonderful light shine through me as I basked in my glory.
Only, it didn’t happen. Despite tracking and exercising and eating so right that Dr. Oz could use me as an example, (ha ha), I didn’t make it. I “failed” to make that small goal.
But, question: Why am I so anxious to make my goal on exact dates? What’s the rush, the hurry? Why can’t I continue on, knowing that there will be a day, soon, that I’ll make that goal? Why does everything have to be so rushed, so frantic such as making deadlines at work, at meetings, even for shopping trips so we can rush home to get our work “done.” Guess what? What's the deal about frantic wedding planning? Isn't that for joy and love, to celebrate and be calm...? For me….well, it’s(things) are never done and I bet they aren't for you either.
Ever left work on a Friday, and came back in Monday morning and saw a packet of 100 pages that someone left on your desk after you left, that says “must be done by noon.” Or ever run around like a maniac in the supermarket and gym and cooking meals, just to get it ready “on time” and watch your family scarf it down in 10 minutes? Oh, my favorite…..before I go to sleep I MUST have a clean sink. It’s my thing. I scrub, I wash, I mean….it’s CLEAN. Well, somehow, when I wake up, the goblins of the house hold have been busy making dishes. How does that work? Is it the same guy who takes the sock out of the dryer.
So, no rushing this. Let’s say it takes another year for me to reach full goal, which isn’t that much. Guess what? Who cares, I’m learning, I’m sharing with my family, I’m watching documentaries about food, size, health, exercise, all that rolled into one.
However, there was a sadness. To be honest, at first when I looked at my scale and did my measurements I realized, the sun was setting. I couldn’t enjoy its beauty, watch as the sky changes colors over the sea, to colors I don’t see anywhere else in nature, different every night….because I was the sunset. But a sad one, a weary one. I had the whole “day” to reach my goal and didn’t. I was “out of time” and my heart felt heavy.
But with each sunset comes a sunrise. A new day, not to “start again” because I’m doing great, enjoying the ride and being healthy. So who cares if I didn’t make that little goal? I will try again for next weekend. I will re-dedicated myself and know that next week, when the sun goes down, even if I still haven’t made it, I’ll still be happy and okay, and no matter how many sunsets I have left in my life, that oh Lord, those sunsets are beautiful, just like me.