Tired today - But staying positive
Thursday, May 28, 2015
I'm trying not to let my physical affect my mental right now. I'm tired. I did it to myself. I was reading a book last night that I knew I should put down and go to sleep...I didn't. I finished the book, but I ended up with only 5 hours of sleep!
My husband has had a real blow lately, his son, who is an adult in his 30s but who my husband still supports, has been spreading really nasty rumors about my husband. Intellectually, I know that his son doesn't think his dad would find out, and doesn't think it's that big a deal. The son is also just straight up a pathological liar and has probably convinced himself that this stuff is true because it makes him look good. It doesn't even register to him that it makes his dad look bad. But knowing his pathology and that in some ways he can't help it and will never change doesn't make it hurt less. Luckily, nobody believes the son, because everyone knows he's a liar.
I don't know what to do or how to help my husband, and in a lot of ways I really can't except to be there for him. But it's hard when I know this thing is eating him up, it's costing him sleep, it's making him irritable, and I'M the one that has to live with him!!
It is really especially hard for me because I KNOW that my husband won't do anything about it. He might have a conversation with his son where he broaches the subject, but he won't pursue it enough to actually clear the air, he's going to keep supporting his son financially, allowing him to live in his house rent free, etc... To me, this just teaches his son over and over again that there are no consequences. He's not my son, so maybe I have a clearer view, or maybe not as clear a view, since I don't have the emotional tie.
Anyway, so that's been a bit of a strain, but I'm on my plan, I'm staying on my plan, I'm kicking through today, and I'm gonna take a nap as soon as possible... :-)