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Planning delinquency

Monday, June 08, 2015

Tomorrow I fly across the country for a surprise visit to my ex-boss. He has advanced cancer which has spread from bladder to thyroid to brain. Time feels precious these days, so I organized a mini-reunion and I along with a couple of former co-workers are going to surprise our ex-boss. I had a cool custom-made present that I'm bringing along that I hope he will like. It will be a bittersweet visit - I'm both looking forward to seeing everyone again and to hopefully bringing some unexpected cheer to my ex-boss, but I'm also trying not to think that this may be the last time I see him.

After a couple of days visiting my ex-boss, I'm going to travel a few hours to visit my Mom and siblings. That will be a happier visit - and I'll catch up with a few very old friends as well. But it will also be a dangerous visit, since all my favorite foods will be within reach. I am planning on binging on fresh seafood, and have decided to feel no guilt over it. Fresh shellfish - I don't have the willpower to resist!
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    I hope your visit goes well, and I'm sure your ex-boss will appreciate the gesture and enjoy the company of you and your former co-workers. I'm presently spending a lot of my time and energy with a longtime friend who has tumors in both lungs, her bones and liver. Her son lives only a short drive away, but after the initial shock of such a sudden and unexpected diagnosis, he finds it easier to talk with her online, rather than visiting in person. I'm not judging him, I know how hard it is, because I've lost both my parents to cancer.

    I just wanted to say that in my friend's case, as was the same for both my parents, those friends and family members and ex-co-workers who were closest to them while they were healthy and fit, would at first call them, promise to come for a visit, but never arrive. The promise of a visit from someone who has been part of their life gives someone facing death such a lift, such an escape from the horrors of chemotherapy, constant tests and scans, etc., and when the visits don't eventuate, it really brings their level of happiness to a real low.

    You are doing such a wonderful thing, even to the point of organising some of your co-workers to go visit too. The surprise of your arrival, and the fact that you all consider your ex-boss someone important enough to visit with and talk of things completely related to his illness, will give him such a lift, I'm sure.

    Don't underestimate the amount of good you are all doing by making this visit. It may not be easy, it may be hard to see the changes this disease has wrought, but it will mean the world to him, and the memories will stay with him.

    2142 days ago
    Sorry to hear of your ex-boss' cancer. Oh my goodness. Cancer that has spread to the brain would be such a nightmare. I hope you have a meaningful visit with him and that he will be cheered by your visit.

    Good luck in the danger zone! I have a feeling you get along well with your family, so maybe at least you can avoid eating out of anger and frustration, as I'm sorry to say often "happened to" me when I visited my family back in the day. Have a peaceful, safe, healthy, fun visit!
    2143 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/8/2015 1:44:27 AM
    Hope the visit goes well. This is going to be very hard, seeing him like this. It's a good thing you are doing, and I'm glad you're combining the trip with family fun. Enjoy. --Pam
    2143 days ago
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