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day 36 Feel proud of myself for not giving in.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

So yesterday I was kind of upset about this whole tracker thing. You know what I am just not going to let it bother me anymore. I am going to keep on pushing myself to do better is all. I will track my own bike rides and not worry about what either one says. LOL. The steps are cool so that is all I care about right not. With that said I had a very bad day yesterday. I was in a very dark place and I wanted to smoke or eat a tube of ice cream. I am proud to say I did not do either one. I was having a bad day because that really mean little voice in my head was getting to me. Telling me I was always going to be fat and just to give up I did not look any different so why bother. I know what was going on I am freaking out because I am seeing how thin my face is getting and I know I am doing good. And yes that is kind of scary. It is a scary place to go from your comfy zone of being able to eat and not think about what you are doing to your body to doing every thing you can to be good to your self so that you can work the hours you need too. I am very happy with how well I am doing I really am I just had a bad day yesterday of that little evil voice trying to make me fail I did not fail. I just shut her out and I did not smoke I did not over eat. I just thought of happier things like being the new manger at my store and being able to do work walking with out feeling like I was going to drop dead at some point in time. And seeing my grand kids if any of my kids get married. LOL. I changed how I saw myself. I even went in the bathroom stood looking in the mirror and told myself I was doing good. I got this. I was losing and that is all that matter. I was eating right and working out so I got this in the bag. I felt better. Now as for today. I am taking the day off from my workout on my bike because I pushed myself a little to hard yesterday and I hurt my knees. I should have known I was going to over do it trying to push myself to hard because I thought I was not doing something right because of that dumb tracker. LOL. So today I will just be going up and down my stairs a lot more today instead of asking my sons to do things for me. That way I get in some kind of killer steps today. I only got in over a 1000 steps yesterday and that is okay, I am hoping to get that many in today but I am not sure I will. Well. I am off to get myself a nice healthy lunch. hugs and love to you all.
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