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Day 155 of the 'Q' - The judges are in...

Thursday, July 23, 2015

It's reality. You will be judged for trying to be healthy. You will be judged when you pass over the donuts for the salad. You'll be judged when you can't go out with your friends because it's your class at the gym.

It's exactly the same judgement you go when you weren't healthy too. You were judged for picking the donut instead of the salad, for going out instead of going to the gym.

YOU WILL NOT WIN.

However, the incident which inspired this particular blog really gets me. I was judged as a bad mother for signing up for races which would cause me to miss my son's soccer games on Saturdays. How could I not want to spend every moment of my life with my son? (And mind, there are two of them. Next year, Thing 2 will be of soccer age as well.) He's still running and racing with me after soccer season ends, and practices in between. Like missing his Saturday games had suddenly cut him out of my life entirely.

I made myself a promise when I first found out I was pregnant. I was not going to run myself stupid for my kids. Do I want them to be able to have experiences like sports and dance? Yeah, but not at my physical, mental, and emotional expense. I can't handle two kids doing two different things four times a week and handle myself. I'll be right back where I started at nearly 200 pounds, crying in my doctor's office that I can't lose weight. Even with my husband's help, it's too much.

I know that missing some soccer games doesn't make me a bad mom. That's a modern screwed up expectation of parenting. My sons have the essentials of life. They don't need a soccer team to survive or an iPad. They need a mom who is healthy, and loves herself. I don't need the races to survive either, but right now they are something that can bring us together. We can all run, we can all be healthy, we can spend that time together and it doesn't have to be at anyone else's expense.



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WOUBBIE
    Awesome blog, start to finish! You are so right, that we'll be judged (and sometimes do the judging) regardless of the circumstances.

    And yes, signing them up for soccer doesn't sign YOU up for soccer. My DH is useless at this stuff so I ended up being the Karate Mom. I did it because it was important to the boys and ONE of us had to be there for them; I don't regret it, but OH, I spent so much of my time driving and sitting by myself at the YMCA! I made the best use of my time that I could and I loved watching their progress, but that was almost 8 years of Tuesdays and Thursdays gone!

    Thankfully, I have a black belt and a red belt to show for it - theirs, not mine, lol!
    1845 days ago
  • JOHNMARTINMILES
    The most important part of your blog reads: They need a mom who is healthy, and loves herself

    Make today the greatest day of your life

    emoticon Until tomorrow!

    1846 days ago
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