Day 155 of the 'Q' - The judges are in...
Thursday, July 23, 2015
It's reality. You will be judged for trying to be healthy. You will be judged when you pass over the donuts for the salad. You'll be judged when you can't go out with your friends because it's your class at the gym.
It's exactly the same judgement you go when you weren't healthy too. You were judged for picking the donut instead of the salad, for going out instead of going to the gym.
YOU WILL NOT WIN.
However, the incident which inspired this particular blog really gets me. I was judged as a bad mother for signing up for races which would cause me to miss my son's soccer games on Saturdays. How could I not want to spend every moment of my life with my son? (And mind, there are two of them. Next year, Thing 2 will be of soccer age as well.) He's still running and racing with me after soccer season ends, and practices in between. Like missing his Saturday games had suddenly cut him out of my life entirely.
I made myself a promise when I first found out I was pregnant. I was not going to run myself stupid for my kids. Do I want them to be able to have experiences like sports and dance? Yeah, but not at my physical, mental, and emotional expense. I can't handle two kids doing two different things four times a week and handle myself. I'll be right back where I started at nearly 200 pounds, crying in my doctor's office that I can't lose weight. Even with my husband's help, it's too much.
I know that missing some soccer games doesn't make me a bad mom. That's a modern screwed up expectation of parenting. My sons have the essentials of life. They don't need a soccer team to survive or an iPad. They need a mom who is healthy, and loves herself. I don't need the races to survive either, but right now they are something that can bring us together. We can all run, we can all be healthy, we can spend that time together and it doesn't have to be at anyone else's expense.