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5 Years Later

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

I looked at when I started, my blogs, information I have on my sp page and my first feeling was depression and sadness. Why? I've been on this roller coaster for 5 (FIVE) years!! That's so sad to look back and know I was so close to the end and then quit. Here I am, at the same weight, 180, and still struggling with food.

My family and I have had so many changes happen since. My son has gone from public school to home school and will be going into 7th grade at the public school. Our ministry went from 12k sq ft building where we lived to skating in parking lots through the summer to having a year contract at a local warehouse to skate in (in the middle of town). The clan (us) moved from MT to AZ.

I have had a couple blood work episodes come back negative in the cholesterol category. I had a hysterectomy 1/30/15. I will be 42 in two days. I have a lot of reasons to begin again.

What are some changes I will be making to begin again?
To begin with, I will not be so sedentary in my life. I will have more movement. I live in a beautiful state that has 90% more sunshiny days then MT. I don't really have an excuse.
I have been waking up earlier as hubby is out the door by 5:30, so I am up at 5:00 and moving toward my goal by 6. When son goes to school I'll have to switch it up a bit and wait until he goes to school for the day.
I will change my thoughts about food. I will work on getting my 5 a day in and knowing how to make good for you food taste good too. I won't worry about gluten free. I will cook good food.

Long term:
I will HAVE to change my thoughts about food and working out. I cannot let it consume me, as Lord God is first not my workout.
I pray that changing my mind about food, workouts, and my appearance, I will be healed from clinical depression. I will have working coping strategies and won't let my circumstances determine happiness.

I am NOT a failure and I do have GOOD opinions.
I am worthy.
I am NOT junk.

Love God above all else.
Love my family beyond what I actually feel in the moment.

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