Frazzle.

Another month has come and gone. Summer has definitely passed its peak here, the fields are full of straw bales and the blackberries are ripe and juicy. Maybe this makes me a bit moody because I am already dreading late fall and winter, but I am getting ahead of myself and forgetting that there will be a lot more beautiful, warm, sunny late summer and early fall days.

I have been doing good this spring and summer. Eating healthily, regularly and moderately, and walking constantly, pushing my average steps from 12,400 in March to 14,800 in April, 15,400 in May and finally 16,100 in July. My weight is still not budging, and I can't go upping my steps month after month, in fact, I will not be able to keep up 16,000. I have managed to reintroduce strength training into my routine and am now doing about a dozen mostly core bodyweight exercises twice or three times a week. Well, make that twice, I'm not fooling myself. I feel good, strong and healthy. As I mentioned before I have dropped a pants size a few months back and am now more or less where I intended to end up, dress-size-wise. When I look at myself in the mirror I still see a lot of need for improvement, but I'm quite happy with the dress size.
But ... I feel myself frazzling. I can't claim I'm suffering from "diet rage" or "exercise burnout" because I'm neither dieting nor exercising hard – I'm just trying a lifestyle change. Making time for a 1-2 hour walk is sometimes not easy, and even if I try to be as active during the day as I can I still need to do the bigger part of those 15,000+ steps in one or two sizeable chunks. If I have a full schedule or if I see on the evening news that the next day is going to be non-stop rain (like today), I start to worry about how I will get my steps in. Of course this is not deep existential worrying but just the "Oh, heck, how am I supposed to do this"-worrying, but still. It's stupid. I wish I could just take this easier and get my mind free for more important stuff.

So, this month will be about finding balance. About doing things I enjoy, and doing things that have to get done. About changing around this lifestyle change until I find a way that feels unstressful, but still not too pleasantly within my comfort zone.
I start a desk job (as a poll station worker in the mayoral elections) next week, so I'll have to take care that I do not slack off completely but get a good counterbalance to sitting on my butt most of the day. I know from my last two experiences as a polling assistant that there are low-traffic hours at the polling station when the temptation is huge to grab a cookie. I need a plan, and I need to make it fun and foolproof. I need non-food rewards that will not cost a fortune. I need healthy portable lunches. And I need activities that will not feel like additional work after the work days!

I am open for suggestions if you have any for me!