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CALAMITIE
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day 375 Not much

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Thank you Koffee. I'll look into that a bit.

I got thru the day. A huge part of my guilt is that I was supposed to get those Dept, 56 things out of the garage and I just was such a mess most of June with all the stuff I did for mom and on and on and on. That I just never did it. I knew Tessa wanted them but the boys really didn't care what I knew they just wanted mom and dads house cleaned out. The hurry was very hard on me during most of May and into early June. They seem to forget that I have some liabilities when it comes to moving, packing, bending and carrying.

My mom's birthday is this weekend. I am not looking forward to the brothers and their families coming to celebrate it. My mom will spend a lot of the time looking to me to repeat things people say she can't understand. She seems to hear my voice I suppose because she's used to it.

I haven't made any decisions about how to deal with this financial emergency. I have some choices I don't want to make. I want to be independent but I pretty much always screw it up. I don't think I can take being reminded that I screwed up again.
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  • MOONGLOWSNANA
    You can only do what you can do, and that's it. Too bad Tessa didn't come help when help was needed. She could have saved everyone some grief by being there then. Like so many before her and after her she will have to learn to cherish memories and the pictures in her mind's eye. Then back to the reality that nothing stays the same. She will learn to let it go eventually.
    1637 days ago
  • KOFFEENUT
    I understand why you feel bad - I would, too. At the same time, one of those "boys" who was in such a hurry to get things cleaned out is (I assume) Tessa's dad. All you can do at this point is tell her you're sorry, it was a very hectic and stressful time. If she doesn't understand it now she will later, when she needs to do this for her OWN parents.
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    1638 days ago
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