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Fat Shaming and trying to get over it

Sunday, September 13, 2015

You hear about fat shaming on social media all the time...there's a huge push to have people understand that this attitude of "I'm better than you because you're fat" needs to go away. I've never had to deal with this in Wyoming and considered it to honestly be something that wasn't a concern for me. Sure, I feel uncomfortable in social situations and I can't always fit into chairs that are provided...it never struck a nerve too badly for me. That is, until this last Friday. I went to an urgent care facility here in Wyoming because my knee hurt so bad, and I couldn't walk on it without wincing in pain. It's been hurting for 2 months...since we moved into our new house...but I thought I had just sprained it. I saw the nurse first, and noticed that she had to go get a larger blood pressure cuff (why don't they keep these in each room? Okay, whatever). I then waited for over an hour, and was told it was because someone came in after me that needed urgent attention (really? I can't walk on my knee right now...okay, whatever). The physician assistant came in and put me through sheer hell...moved my knee every which way. I was in tears at the end of the exam. He told me I tore my MCL, and I would need a brace. He then mentioned that they might not have one big enough, but joked it off stating that he tried to get a wrist brace for an older gentleman the other day and all they had were the tiny kid braces (a little uncomfortable, but okay). He left, and that's when what felt like an attack happened. This woman came into the exam room, didn't introduce herself, and brought in an XL knee brace. She looked me up and down and kinda sighed. She tried to put the brace on my knee, but it didn't fit. (I'm still tearing up right now because of the pain, and really uncomfortable at this point). She then refers me to go get a brace at a certain place because "they might have better luck with your size." emoticon (there's 2 orthopedic stores in town) That statement...that right there...was what has turned my life into a tailspin the last few days. She left, and I started to cry. She came back in and saw me crying...didn't offer me a tissue (mind you, I can't stand at this point really). I had to ask the person who hurt me for a tissue to dry the tears that she caused, and she acted like it was an inconvenience to even do that for me.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive about this whole thing, but I honestly felt like I have been slapped in the face by someone who doesn't know me based solely on the fact that I'm overweight. I'm not asking for arguements or anything really at this point. I just needed to put it down somewhere to remind myself that people will be cruel. They might not even realize that they do it. The whole situation has put my emotional state into an uproar- I've eaten like crap the last few days. Drank soda, sat on the couch and felt like a hermit. The only thing that has made me get up off the couch is my puppies right now (kiddos are at their dad's house this weekend).

I refuse to let this person's terrible attitude become what I will be defined by in my life. I deserve so much more from people, even if I don't end up losing a single pound the rest of my life. I deserve happiness, strength, love, and understanding- this weight-loss journey has had a ton of ups and downs...and many, many restarts. I've gotten so frustrated with the whole process that I just give up, and I need to stop doing that. Life happens, but it doesn't have to get me down every single time. I can do this. I will do this. emoticon

It's time, Michelle. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • DEE797
    I'm sorry you went through that. So unprofessional of them both. Wishing you all the best on your journey!
    2047 days ago
    sorry you had that experience michelle though i think you being in pain may have also made you a bit senitive.apart from the remark about your size from the nurse who tried the brace on the rest was normal proceedure with the knee i know this as i have had knee problems for years and last year had a total knee replacement and the orthopedic surgen/specialist does turn and conturt your knee all ways and it is very,very painful they need to do that to check the damage and flexability and see your scale of pain.i am surprise they mention extra your size for the brace as over here no matter what your size you have to be measured for a brace so that it fits probably as not every body has the same length or thickness of leg,knee etc.we just have to remember it is not so much what life or people throw at us that counts but more how we deal with what life and people throw at us.do we let there attitude affect my attitude or even my believe in myself..have faith in yourself.know that you are in control of your life it is your choice.do you stuff yourself and feel sorry for yourself or do you think i can not exercise because of my pain so i can have more control of what i eat so i can at least maintain in this period. .if i looose that would be a bonus.you can start doing chair exercises there is a good chair exercise team here on sp.if i can help in anyway let us know.as i said i had a knee replacement on my left knee last year and due a knee replacement on my right.i still dispite my pain walked a 5k yesturday.it took me 1 hour,5 minutes and 47 seconds.i was also last to cross the finish line but not last over all as two didn´t finish it but i did it.as i say it is up to you love you have the choice to wallow in self pity or put your big panties on and so what you can to make you as fit and healthy as you can be.i know you can do it love.you know you can do it so do it.one choice at a time.if i can help in any way just let us know love.take care and keep smiling emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2047 days ago
    When you decide to go on a weight loss journey, you need to deal with all of your emotions. You need to heal. Once you can accept certain situations without binging the chances of staying on track would be better. I wish you loads of luck working this out….
    2047 days ago
  • FITAT50
    My heart breaks for you Sweetie, to be treated like that from a medical professional is sad and so NOT professional. You are a very special person Michelle, you are sweet, caring and supportive and I know how hard you try to lose the weight.

    Those type of people that judge solely from that outside are very shallow and it's their loss not getting to know many awesome people who may not be a perfect size.

    emoticon emoticon
    2047 days ago
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    2047 days ago
    emoticon My mother always told me only pay attention to others people's views if they pay your bills. You need to love yourself! You deserve a healthy life no matter what your size. emoticon
    2047 days ago
  • SA555Y
    I understand it's hard alot of times when I go out I get this same treatment it dosnt help I use a walker 2not fall but I refuse 2go2 Dr's or councillor who treat me like crap do what I do take your pwr back you can do this no1 never knows ur story
    2047 days ago
    Yes, you CAN and you WILL! To HELL with people like that!
    2047 days ago
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