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Lost and Confused BUT there is still fight left***

Thursday, September 17, 2015

So fast forward almost a year later and I am basically in the same place I was a year ago.

This is FREAKING DEPRESSING!!!! I have been off work for over an year which was supposed to be my FIND MYSELF time, GET HEALTHY time, and find MY PURPOSE time.....But instead I found myself at an even HIGHER HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER.... 312lbs. If someone would of told me that I would one day be over 300lbs I would of laughed in their face seriously.

How did I get here? Why every time I try to change myself the reserve happens? Is this just a hopeless DREAM?

SO I hit the reset button again on 8/28/15 at a whopping 312lbs. I am down 9lbs so far (303lbs). I can't even be happy about that because in the back of my mind I keep thinking HOW MANY TIMES I have started this journey before only to end up right back at the same point.

To sum it all up as the title states I am lost and confused right now but I am still fighting.

What I do know is that I miss the amazing support I received from Spark people. There is truly NO other community like it! So I AM BACK.

I have missed you guys so much!

Back to the basics!
I am tracking all my food (MFP tko0551)
and will start getting more active this week,


emoticon emoticon Steph
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LYNNBELTONLOSES
    GIRL? YOU SOOOOO NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME HUNNIE,
    PLEASE DO IT FOR YOURSELF GIRL, OMG, THIS BLOG WAS SO ME BOO.

    GIRL, HOLLA AT ME ON MY YAHOO IM, AND LETS HAVE A SIT DOWN SISTAH GIRL WEIGHT LOSS CHAT HUNNIE.

    GIRL, MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THIS MOVE, I PROMISE IT WILL CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFE HUNNIE AND MAKE YOU SLIM FOR GOOD !!!

    MY YAHOO IM IS:
    belton_lynn

    I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU GIRL.

    SMOOTCHES,
    SINCEREL
    Y,
    YOUR OLD WEIGHTLOSS SISTAHGIRLFRIEND,
    ~lynn
    (yaho
    o im: belton_lynn)

    P.S.: GIRL? DON'T SLIP, CONNECT WITH YA GIRL, YOU WON'T REGRET IT HUNNIE!
    1822 days ago
  • ADARKARA
    slow and steady wins the race! don't go all gung ho, just take it one step at a time, and make good choices 8 times out of 10. I was almost 300 lbs once, too, and now I sit between 165 and 175. It took me 3 years to get there, because I did it slow, and now I can't imagine going back to my old ways. You can do this!

    emoticon
    1899 days ago
  • KIBAISREADY
    Hey Steph,

    I'm glad to see you back girl! Well it happened to me too gained and ended up being the highest I've ever been. The good news is that you can so do it again. Good job on starting back up and emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1900 days ago
  • SITAZARRABIAN
    hi, I feel exact the same way. I have started many times and gave up many times, actually reading your comment is eco urging me to start it all over tonight. So please don't give up, stay strong and with the support of others, you can do it :)
    1900 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.