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Saturday, September 26, 2015

Well, hi!
It's been awhile.
Although I am still very busy with the littlest grand baby, I think my other family drama issues are ironed out.
It was a horrible wretched summer, though, and I am pretty excited that it's fall!

So here I go, doing another 5% challenge, and i'm pretty stoked. Nothing like a little accountability to keep things chugging along!
I ended the Summer challenge at 204 lbs, and when I weighed in this morning, I was at 201.8. I don't really know how that happened, but i'll take it!
My 5% is: 10.something, with a weight of 191.7 at the end of 8 weeks. I actually hope to lose more...I am anxious to get this weight off!

5 or so years ago, I weighed 230 lbs. 3 years ago, I was 174. At the start of this summer, I was at 215.
Do you see what happened there? I lost all that weight and was in throwing distance of being a reasonable weight, and then stuff happened and I gained almost all of it back.
It's a sloooooow road back down, and I think it is super unfair that it is so much easier to gain than to lose!!!!!
What I mostly hate is that by nature I am hour glassy (a SHORT hour glass) but a bunch of weight went right to my gut, so I have this big ole buddha belly. Can't wear anything with a waistline so much....it either goes up under my boobs or down under my belly and so i'm kind of limited to maternity type clothes.
I hate it a lot. I started getting "Adore Me" orders (a subscription service for "delicates") and I really love nice underthings, but I kind of would rather look like the so called plus sized model in them than..well, me! How can one be plus sized and have NO BELLY?

Well, I just feel mad that I was so close and am now so far.
And this is bad, but I really feel urgent to get it back off. My fragile hold on a tiny scrap of self esteem has been challenged, and I really need some, and maybe WEIGHT and size wouldn't determine our sense of self worth, but know what, it does play a role for me...not only to look better, but to feel strong and confident.

SO here we go. Let's do this thing!

That's where I want to be.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD15505658
    emoticon I can relate to the gain. Same thing happened here but time to get back on track and make healthier choices again. Good luck to you with the challenge! I know emoticon emoticon
    1712 days ago
  • no profile photo CD9065446
    Hey Beautiful! So nice to see you writing, you do know I miss that, right.
    I have been up and down and all around, too, and you know what else? The Buddha belly also found me - ugh! It makes me feel lousy, but I think we can change it around a little bit. Channel that anger into making positive changes, and then send some my way so I can do the same. We got this friend - let's do it! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon (still wish we were teammates).
    1714 days ago
    Welcome back. Sorry you had such a lousy summer. Hopefully, the fall will be great. I know that the numbers on the scale should not be tied to our self-esteem, but, you are right, they are. Right now I am training my mind to think in terms of how much healthier I feel now that I am actively in Spark People and just think of the numbers on the scale like the numbers of the elevator floors I am going past. Going down, down...
    1714 days ago
  • DAN1964
    1715 days ago
  • CEEMEE11
    welcome back
    1715 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.