Saturday, September 26, 2015
It's been awhile.
Although I am still very busy with the littlest grand baby, I think my other family drama issues are ironed out.
It was a horrible wretched summer, though, and I am pretty excited that it's fall!
So here I go, doing another 5% challenge, and i'm pretty stoked. Nothing like a little accountability to keep things chugging along!
I ended the Summer challenge at 204 lbs, and when I weighed in this morning, I was at 201.8. I don't really know how that happened, but i'll take it!
My 5% is: 10.something, with a weight of 191.7 at the end of 8 weeks. I actually hope to lose more...I am anxious to get this weight off!
5 or so years ago, I weighed 230 lbs. 3 years ago, I was 174. At the start of this summer, I was at 215.
Do you see what happened there? I lost all that weight and was in throwing distance of being a reasonable weight, and then stuff happened and I gained almost all of it back.
It's a sloooooow road back down, and I think it is super unfair that it is so much easier to gain than to lose!!!!!
What I mostly hate is that by nature I am hour glassy (a SHORT hour glass) but a bunch of weight went right to my gut, so I have this big ole buddha belly. Can't wear anything with a waistline so much....it either goes up under my boobs or down under my belly and so i'm kind of limited to maternity type clothes.
I hate it a lot. I started getting "Adore Me" orders (a subscription service for "delicates") and I really love nice underthings, but I kind of would rather look like the so called plus sized model in them than..well, me! How can one be plus sized and have NO BELLY?
Well, I just feel mad that I was so close and am now so far.
And this is bad, but I really feel urgent to get it back off. My fragile hold on a tiny scrap of self esteem has been challenged, and I really need some, and maybe WEIGHT and size wouldn't determine our sense of self worth, but know what, it does play a role for me...not only to look better, but to feel strong and confident.
SO here we go. Let's do this thing!
That's where I want to be.