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Facing failure

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The 2015 Chicago Marathon is over and I didn't do well at all. I had to bail at 18 miles and take a DNF, my first, and it sucks. My cold or whatever had started to come back on Friday and Bossdear told me to just stay home, but of course I couldn't do that. Not after all the money I spent and the training I put in. But I probably should have listened to her. I was pretty much done at mile 9. I struggled along for a while, and even had a pretty good split at mile 14, but that was my last hurrah. I was simply going through the motions after that, and when the 5:30 pace group passed me and I couldn't even begin to keep up, I just pulled the plug at the aid station at 18. I really didn't think I could fake it for another 8 miles. Walking was just okay and any kind of jog was making me feel a bit lightheaded. Oh well. Rest up and on to the next race. Still a big bummer.

I had an episode with my blood pressure a couple of weeks before and ended up staying overnight at the hospital Monday night-Tuesday. Stress test and EKG showed my heart was fine and everything was working the way it should, I just have spiky blood pressure, it goes up and down. The cardiologist gave me the okay to continue training and run the marathon. Saw my regular doc on Friday, he gave me a look over, reviewed all the test results and also gave me the go ahead. I think I may have picked up a bug at the docs office because I started to get cold/flu symptoms soon after my visit. That put me out for a couple of days, and it seems I passed it on to Bossdear, so she’s been feeling nasty too. I was okay midweek before the marathon, but when I went to the race Expo on Friday, I realized just walking around the expo was kind of wearing me out. I felt okay Sunday morning. Not 100%, but okay. And the first few miles were not too bad, but by mile 9, I knew it was going to be a struggle. Even at 18, if it hadn’t been for the lightheaded feeling, I would have struggled on, but at the time, it seemed like a good idea to just stop. Of course, now after the fact, I’ve spend the past couple of days second guessing myself. I did learn that not finishing is far worse than suffering to the end, no matter if the decision is prudent at the time. It’s real downer, but I need to just chalk it up and move on.

I've already signed up for a 5 mile race in November. I've never done a 5 miler before, so guaranteed PR.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _LINDA
    So very sorry you were unable to finish your marathon :-( I think its incredible you were even able to make it to 18 miles being sick. You are incredible!
    Thank you for stopping by my blog and your kind comment!
    Keep on being amazing!
    1183 days ago
  • MWWENSIN
    You completed 18 miles. That's great. Noone likes to stop. However, you're only not finishing 1 race and you will have others. Chalk that up to a good decision to stop early and you have a chance to regroup and do more races.
    1277 days ago
  • BOILHAM
    You really toughed it out and did a great job under the circumstances. The second guessing and gloomy thoughts are what makes us continue on to get stronger and have ongoing successes.
    1277 days ago
  • FIT4GOOD3
    Good for you calling it a day before you really depleted yourself. It's tough, though... very disappointing. Still, you'll recover more quickly having made the choice you did, and whatever it is that you choose for redemption will feel especially sweet.
    1335 days ago
  • CHANGINGHORSES
    I am impressed that you made it to mile 18! I totally get the disappointment but the DNF is not a reflection of you or your strength and commitment. Sometimes our body just cannot do it. You did not give up on something that you could've done. You know that you can do it, you had no choice. You are not a quitter, you were sick and smart enough to know when to say "No more". There will always be another race, unfortunately the race year is closing in on us and it may have to wait. I hope that you feel better and feel good about showing up on the start line in spite of issues that were not in your favor. You did what you could.
    1340 days ago
  • MARGARITTM
    I probably should not have read your blog - NY in 2 weeks. ...

    .Big fat juicy bummer!

    the marathon is such a commitment in the training that I would have attempted it as well.
    I friend of mine boinked Maine Marathon a couple of weeks ago. ...she did struggle it in but it wasn't pretty - over 7 hours

    Sometimes those pacers can be detrimental ......if I are aiming at a certain time and they pass me- it REALLY takes the wind out of my sails.
    I try to ignore them

    Well then guess what? You have absolutely GOT to go back and do it again! IT OWES YOU and you can't let it win.

    The 5 miler is kind of far away - maybe a good 5k will get your confidence back. Go get em!

    I applaud your courage to write this blog.
    1341 days ago
  • BERGBA7
    oh... I am sorry for your disappointment, but I think you took a wise decision and showed some pretty awesome mental strength to actually quit the race! It takes guts to accept that! It is not a failure - just an intelligent and wise decision being taken by a responsible runner! Go for your new 5 mile PR!
    emoticon emoticon
    1342 days ago
  • SUNSHINEYOURWAY
    I am so sorry to hear.. I am so impressed you even attempted to run when not feeling well.. 18 miles is very impressive... I hope you get well soon and start focusing on your next race..

    Sharon emoticon


    1342 days ago
  • IMSMILEY88
    Guaranteed PRs are GREAT! :)

    Sorry to hear about your race. Hope you can do another marathon in the near future. I know when I've trained for a few halfs that I wasn't able to run, it was a BIG let down. It's hard to get past!

    Best wishes!
    1342 days ago
  • MBTEPP
    I am sorry that the timing of the race, your health, and your decision did not gel into the results that you desired. Disappointment is a part of us, but this does not equate to failure. You have the right to be disappointed, but please do not second guess your decision, as it was the right one at the right moment.

    The hardest thing to face is all the training and no race to celebrate. If it were me, I would look for a back up marathon race within the next 30 days. You already have the training.

    Your body was speaking to you loud and clear. Playing the "what if" game serves you no good.

    You gave it all you had. Congrats for getting as far as you did.

    emoticon You're emoticon in my book!


    1342 days ago
  • POISONGIRL999
    You made the right call even if it seems you didn't. It would take a lot for me to quite so I know when I come to that point, if ever, it will be warranted and I'm sure you're the same. Don't let it drag you down. Just keep your head up.
    1342 days ago
  • LORI-K
    Running with a cold is super tough! Be proud of the 18 miles you did do. It's still an impressive number!

    1342 days ago
  • STRIVERONE
    I wouldn't second guess myself. Even elite runners will pull the plug on a race. There is always another one and you want to be around to run it.
    1342 days ago
  • DANCINCAJUN1
    WOW that is an impressive amount of miles. Be proud. Roc
    1342 days ago
  • BIGPAWSUP
    I think its awesome you made 18 miles with a cold! You are a real fighter and the decision you made was entirely right at the time. I'm glad you're ok.
    1342 days ago
  • CHUBBYBUMPER
    True failure is not showing up. Hope you feel much better :)
    1342 days ago
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