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Day 361 - November Gratitude, part 25

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Today was the day my parents were supposed to drive up here from Sacramento. The decided last week that they would go to my sister's house instead, since she lives just 15 minutes away, not two hours. I wasn't disappointed; I wanted them to do what they wanted to do without worrying that I would be upset. We invited some local friends who don't have local family, and we are going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration together. I am happy that my parents are doing what they want to do.

Still, I'm so grateful that they are still around. My parents aren't perfect. My dad's response to any bit of news is "I knew that!" You can't tell him anything that he doesn't already know. Mom thinks it's his way of holding on to his cognizance and intelligence, because he's terrified of becoming senile. That has been obvious to me for a few years now.

My mom has become markedly improved from the depressed, miserable person she was 6 years ago, and I'm actually very pleased that she's more mentally serene than I can remember in a very long time. Their living situation has definitely created some amazing benefits in their lives.

I am all too aware that our parents aren't with us forever. Steve's dad passed away in the passenger seat of a rental car they had picked up in Texas to go visit Steve's aunt and uncle (JT's sister and brother-in-law). They had barely driven the car off the lot. Steve was not quite 32 years old. I can't imagine going through that, but he did and was amazingly strong.

We both watched Steve's mom in her final days back in October 2008. She had been a vibrant, energetic woman up until 10 days before she died. She showed me that dying wasn't something to fear, that it could be peaceful and full of grace. She was 90, and had lived a very full, rewarding life.

I know how much Steve misses his parents, and I wish that his relationship with my parents was better so that he could enjoy them while they are still around. Sure, I get frustrated with them, but they are still my folks, and I do love them very much. I am who I am because of the values that they instilled on me when I was growing up.

So today, I'm grateful for parents. I'm grateful for my folks, and I'm grateful for all the parents that have had an influence on my life. My mom's best friend Carolyn Webb was like a second mom to me when I was younger. When I was in elementary school and would often go home with my friend Sonja, her mom Virginia was as loving to me as my own mother. I've had a lot of parental guidance throughout my years, and I'm so grateful for the gifts that every adult gave to me as I moved from childhood to adulthood. Those gifts are priceless.

I hope you have had parents, either biological or chosen, in your life that gave you joy. That helps us all to keep Sparking.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm so happy that you are accepting of your parents and appreciate them for all of the good they have inspired in your life. They had to be great parents because you are an AWESOME son! My mother was a career woman which is really weird for a woman of the 30s, 40s, and 50s. She didn't marry until she was 36 and didn't have me her only child until she was 38. if anything I was smothered with over attention and felt a little suffocated as a result. I was a complete 'daddy's girl' and felt very loved as a child. My mother bragged about me embarrassingly to all of her friends..."Look what Roberta did...look what Roberta won!" I used to run to my bedroom in embarrassment.

    BUT...that is probably why now as an adult I am pretty fearless about most anything. I have my parents undying encouragement and belief in me during my childhood years for that!

    I wish more kids today were bragged on, complimented, smothered with love and hugged until their sides hurt.

    It would be a much better world don't you think?
    1916 days ago
    I'm glad my mom & dad are still around. Sure they each have their quirks that drive me batty, but I know that the day will come when I would give anything to have them drive me up the wall just once more.

    1919 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    I feel so blessed to have had wonderful parents, not perfect mind you, but absolutely wonderful. My childhood home was where everyone came for all the holidays. So learned to clean, cook, set a proper table and decorate the house for any and all occasions at an early age and I loved it.
    Sadly, my Dad passed in 1971 and my Mom in 2002. I still miss them and as each season rolls around the memories of them and what they would be doing in preparation for the influx of family and friends make me smile.

    I'm so glad that your parents are enjoying their new lifestyle and making new friends.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Steve and to all who will share it with you.

    1920 days ago
    Amen, Steve.

    Love the good news about your Mom.

    I KNOW they feel blessed to have you. HUGS, Pat

    ps: of course have a wonderful time cooking in your new kitchen...assuming its finished....
    1920 days ago
    It took a lot of "growing up" to realize how wonderful my parents really were. I wasn't the easiest child to raise but I know they did their best and a mighty good job at that! ;0) I lucked out w/ my parents and I am too so grateful for both of them.
    1920 days ago
    Lovely blog...I am really so pleased that your parents changed their living situation as it has really given them a renewed interest in life and changed your Mom to a more positive person! Who could have imagined!? I am glad, too, they went where they wanted to go and you and Steve can enjoy your family of friends!
    I hope you have a great day!
    Happy Thanksgiving Hugs!
    1920 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    So true Steve, we can never tell our parents how much we appreciate them. And they are never here long enough for us. I lost both sets of parents in the last 10 years and this time of year is somewhat sad. I can only hope that they are looking down at us and are pleased at what they see we have become. I know your parents are proud of you even if your dad doesn't say it. He was of the same generation as my father who believed that men expressed their feelings. Mine always told me to man up when I would get "gushy" as he would call it. But on his sickbed before his that he expressed his love to me. Great blog, brought back some great memories to mind for me!
    1920 days ago
    Way to find the silver lining in that your parents will appreciate you letting them off the hook but their guilt will haunt them all day. Then on to the next family issue. Hang in there your reward is coming
    1920 days ago
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