Day 349 happens to be Thanksgiving Day!!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
It is getting to be so close to a year of logging in every day. And I am especially thankful for today. Thanksgiving Day is a day to be thankful for all we have. We may not have much, but the material things are not that important. The family, friends, spark friends and my church family are truly blessings in my life and I am thankful for each and every one of them!! So I am thankful for you!! I have been on SP since 2011. I have had lots of success and some relapses. My mental illness has been a roller coaster ride that a lot of you have taken with me along with my family, friends and church family. You have stood by me when I thought I didn't even deserve to have any of you!
Thank Heavenly Father for changing my heart and making me feel worthwhile. I have had a lot of therapy and in the last two years have been with a therapist that has helped me a lot!! I trust him with my inner most secrets and feelings. He reads and has read my journals, current and past. He has seen my medical records and knows the good, bad and ugly about me. He doesn't judge me. He doesn't lecture me. He is a great sounding board when I need someone I can trust to make sense of my life and my past. I often don't understand the things that happened to me as a child and he is helping me sort it out. He also helps with my current issues and relationships.
Not uncommon for an Adult Child of an Alcoholic I married an alcoholic. My life was comfortable. I knew what was going to happen day after day and didn't think I deserved any better and was told no one else would love me for the majority of my marriage.
I severed that tie in 2000 and stopped talking to his family or him in 2006. I do not know where he lives, although I have an idea. I no longer care to punish myself with thoughts of him or his family. I was not good enough for him and we didn't have any children, so don't have that tie to worry about.
I am thankful for the way I live my life now. I am a good person. Most days I know that!! Some days I don't. Those days that I feel like a bad person, I come to SP and chat with my friends. Or I call a couple of them that I have know for a long time or a short time. It depends on if they reach out to me. Then I reach back with an address to write or a phone number or an email address. I try to reach out to all who might see my blogs. I have written many over the years. Some are just ramblings about my feelings and what is going on in my life. Others are reaching out to others to send out a message. Some day I am going to go back to the very first one and see just how much I have changed since then. I know it is by leaps and bounds.
So on this Thanksgiving Day I am grateful for all the people in my life!! I am grateful for a nice apartment that is cozy. I am grateful for food and water. I am grateful for all the many blessings I have including my life!! I am alive and life is good!! May your day be one of remembering all the people in your present or past that have helped you get to where you are today. And don't forget the person that is with you always. Our Savior gets us through many tough times. He stands right there beside us and he forgives. Never forget He is with you. Don't lose hope in life!!