Day 471 a weird nothing kind of day
Monday, November 30, 2015
I was super tired all day. I even napped twice. I know that is too much sleeping when I sleep all night too.
We are now under a winter storm warning expecting 8 to 12" from Mon. morning until Wed. morning. I'm not sure I'll get into town tomorrow or on Wed. for my appt. That will depend on if my snow guy comes and digs me out. I am not going to go out and try to shovel. My joints are just on fire and it all sort of goes or comes together.
I have read lots of the articles on depression. So much of the time I feel like a maniac. The good days are almost way way too good and the bad days are so painful. I guess I'm mostly lucky because I do get a lot of those in between days for sometimes long periods of time that I function pretty good thru.
I don't usually fall this far very often or for very long. This is really grinding away at me.
I did finish the angel for my mom's little set of crochet winter items. We now have a penguin, reindeer, tree and an angel. They all stand about 6" high and will stand next to a bright tree for her.
I don't enjoy decorating for the holidays I never have. But my house can have every flat surface covered with projects to make things for the holidays. The busier I can make myself without expectations from other people the better off I am.
The only thing I don't really have any of in the house for a storm would be some orange juice. But I sold something on ebay today so if I have to run out to the post office tomorrow I can stop at the little store in town if need be.
All the support I'm getting thru this is very helpful. Just knowing that not everyone in the world thinks I'm nuts helps. Back near my first husbands death a therapist pointed to me that my husband was suffering from PTSD from Vietnam. Then he gave me the same diagnosis. Saying that some of the things in my past also caused that problem. And contributed to the clinical depression I was suffering from. He was my therapist for several years but had to remind me often that there would be good times and hard times. I think I tend to forget that until I'm so low.