So what happened?
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Okay, first of all what's done is done. I'm not going to start tomorrow, I'm starting right now. Secondly, I'm not upset. There's no point. I do want to think about why it happened, because I'm analytical that way and it's how I learn from mistakes.
The fact is that I was nervous about going to the department holiday party for this reason. The reason this is absurd is that it didn't have to go down this way. If I had gone in with a plan, it wouldn't have had to happen. I had a "sort of" plan but I should have realized that when I'm in this mode (high-stress, end of semester, holiday time, grey weather) there are just way too many factors to leave this to chance. At other times of year when things are a little calmer and the weather is nicer I am in a better frame of mind to wing it. This time of year, anal retentive as it may seem to some, I have to have a step by step plan set ahead of time or else... tonight.
1. I did eat a later lunch, which is good. I planned to do that so that I wouldn't be so hungry at the party.
2. I woke up too late this morning so I had to buy breakfast. I got a whole bagel. I ate the whole bagel. For other people, that may be fine. For me as a diabetic and my particular chemistry it was so stupid. So stupid. I should have had fewer carbs than usual, not more, so that tonight would have been better balanced.
3. Also, I can't buy something and decide I'm only going to eat half of it. I wish I could, but so far I haven't been able to stop at half.
4. There were very few fresh fruits and veggies at the party. I took an amazing stollen that my mom made. It's a traditional family thing. Yummy as it is, next year I'm going to provide the veggies.
5. Because there were so many carb-laden items, I should have proceeded with caution and I have no excuse for why I didn't think to log them into my Spark app on my phone. That was a "well done Bobo" moment. I should have thought long and hard about which items I would spend my carbs on and then stick to it. I can't even tell you all how much I snarfed. I am ashamed of myself. Really, I have been so on top of it but this week I'm hitting the skids.
6. I should have worked out when I got home. The party went later than expected and I got a ride so I was at the mercy of my ride as far as when I left. Thus, I arrived home tired and lethargic and with glucose readings I don't even want to talk about.
7. I should have told at least one person about my plans to eat healthy so I would feel accountable.
My plan for the next 24 hours?
1. Remember: this is not fatal. It's about batting average and one night of revelry is not going to make me go blind and have my toes amputated. Just get back in the saddle. No beating myself up. I have a lot of people who are proud of me, I have a lot of people who love me, and making mistakes is what makes us human.
2. Tomorrow is another busy day at work, complete with a food-centered event. The good news is, most of the time the guests eat all the food so I'll just take my snacks with me and stick to those.
3. Take a break and have a mid-morning walk.
4. Lots of water.
5. Log everything I eat.