Almost 400 lbs.
Saturday, February 06, 2016
I posted something recently on the message boards and one of the replys I got really hit home with me. They said you are almost 400 lbs. That's right, just 21 lbs. short of weighing 400. When I first read this, it almost felt like they were talking about someone else, this can't be me, I wouldn't let myself get to almost 400 lbs., but I have ... and it's not a good place to be. All this extra weight is affecting me in such a negative way both physically and mentally.
It's like, well I know I weigh 378 lbs,, I know I am morbidly obese, but ... for some reason just hearing someone else say those words really hit home with me. I remember when I first went on a weight loss journey years ago and was mortified to find out I had reached the over 200 lb. mark. Oh how I wish I was that weight again right now.
The struggles with losing weight are the same as they were years ago (although 20 + years ago I had more energy and found it a little easier to exercise )
My reasons for wanting to lose weight have changed now though. In my 20's it was more about looking better first, then feeling better and being healthier.
This time being healthier is the most important thing to me. I am almost 50 years old and 200 lbs. overweight, not a good combo.
I keep starting and quitting, starting and quitting making one excuse after the other. Like Dr. Phil says " How's that working for you?"
It's not working for me, I wouldn't be almost 400 lbs. if it was.
I have been talking with my husband about my weight and have also been getting help dealing with my thoughts and emotions. It is such a battle but it is a fight that I must fight.
This is my life, I don't want to live what rest of life I have in pain, unhappy, unhealthy and regretting each day I let go by.
I also posted recently that this is going to be my year. This is going to be my year, maybe not the year I get to my ideal weight but he year I work towards getting healthier, being happier !
I have got myself in a major slump and It is getting me nowhere I want to be, fast.
Here's to a new year and the beginning of a new and improved me !