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Day 566 Home all day.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Today I was home all day. I worked on mom's everyday place mats but didn't finish them. I forgot to take my water bottle upstairs with me and can only sew a little while without something to drink. I only allow water in my sewing room. Mooch (one of my mom's cats) was helping me. This picture is so cute. She is in general a very standoffish animal. But seems to have taken a shine to me.

I even did some of that housework I always like to put off. Cooked a really nice dinner with lots of veggies. I made a casserole we used to call green bean bake. But since I didn't have any canned green beans....I guess we'll call it a modified Shepard's Pie. I threw a whole bag of frozen mixed veggies in it. It was really good. And now I have several days of nice food again.

My Spark friends help me thru so many things. My fears are not always very rational but all too real sometimes. This is going to be an odd question. I know that part of my distaste for housework has a lot to do with how I learned how to do it and redo it because it was never good enough for my mother. And then I married a man that loved to make excuses for me. Whenever someone would visit he would make comments about how the house was such a mess because Joey was too busy with work and kids and whatever else he could think of. Even if I had spent days getting things cleaned up for our company. So thru all that emotional rollercoaster stuff I've learned why do any housework when it's never good enough. Does anyone else have odd little things they just completely feel are weird but insignificant? You don't need to tell me. I just want to not be alone.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think we ALL have "weird" stuff, whether we recognize it or not, because we ARE all unique. The challenge is figuring out which "weird" things don't really serve us well anymore so we can change them. And sometimes it's HARD. Knowing where it came from helps sometimes - you have a chance to remind yourself that your situation is different now. Trust me - you are not alone on this one!
    1703 days ago
    I have weird little habits from my childhood, also. Nothing significant, just particular to me. For example, kitchen chairs must be pushed in and in their "proper" position. My mom was always yelling, push in your chair. Some habits never go away.
    1703 days ago
    Letting go of the past and all the marks it leaves on us is hard, but growing and evolving can change us if we are open to change. I have this note hanging above my desk that says, "Accept your Past. Honor your Present. Believe in your future." Spark People emphasizes "lifestyle change," and I understand that to mean that learning brings about change.

    I learned to save everything from my mother who grew up during the depression when staples were scarce. Consequently I have saved lots of stuff, and I have to change my ways in order to get rid of my clutter. I believe that I can do it. I can make the changes necessary to make my life better. I don't need to hang onto all this stuff because I have plenty, and often much more than I need. Other people can use the stuff that I have stored in plastic bins "in case I need it" because I don't need it and it is cluttering my life and brain. I need to free myself from this part of my past. I'm ready to move on.

    You have identified why you don't clean your house the way you would like. That's the past. Clean it the way YOU want for yourself, not for the people in your past, not for your mom or your husband. Live in YOUR present. Move into YOUR future, making decisions about your stuff and how YOU want it to be kept. I know we can do it. Let's make some changes!!! You are not alone!


    1703 days ago
    The best advice I've ever received: in all the world you are unique. There is no one nor will there ever be anyone like you. So, do not compare yourself to others. Do your best for you. Grow, develop, evolve into the best version of yourself.
    1703 days ago
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