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Day 475 - Touching the Heart

Saturday, March 19, 2016

I read some blogs what are full of "woe is me" stuff. I want to feel empathy, but the writer seems to be looking for pity more than support. Sometimes I can't provide the reaction that is desired, so I move on without commenting on the blog post.

This is the final season of American Idol. I haven't watched it in years (the last season I watched was Season 9, the battle between Allison Iraheta, Kris Allen, and the amazing Adam Lambert), but felt the need to watch it this year, more because of all the winners that would be coming back for one final reunion.

One of the contestants this year, La'Porsha Renae, is beyond amazing. She has the most beautiful face and expressive eyes, under this, for lack of a better word, astonishing head of hair. Her coiffure is what an Afro _wishes_ it could be!

Her second performance tonight was of No More Drama by Mary J. Blige. Her backstory is that she had a man in her life who was abusive and treated her terribly. Everything that was awesome about her - her voice, her hair, her smile - he hated and made her feel awful. It was a heartwrenching story.

Then she sang the song.

So tired, tired of this drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired

Broken heart again
Another lesson learn
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine

No more pain (no more pain)
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No one's gonna make me hurt again

Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more

No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (no more game messin with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
Nooone's gonna make me hurt again
No more tears (no more tears, I'm tired of cryin everynight)
No more fears (no more fears, I really don't wanna cry)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
I don't ever wanna hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind

Uh, it feel so good
When you let go
Of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game
Free from all the stress
So find your happiness
I don't know
Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or loose
And I choose to win

No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (tired of your playin' game with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No more, no more, No more, no more
No more tears (no more tears, no more cryin every night)
No more fears (no more waking be up in the morning)
No drama, no more in my life

No more drama, no more drama
No more drama, no more drama
No more drama in my life
So tired, tired of this drama

By the end of the song, she was sobbing. Jennifer Lopez was weeping. Everyone was feeling the emotional power of the song. I was fighting back tears too.

Are you feeling sorry for yourself right now? Is your body hurting you? Are you feeling down because you overindulged in your eating today? Just remember that there is always someone hurting more than you. Your life is a picnic compared to the homeless person looking for shelter tonight or the person in an abusive relationship who is afraid to escape for fear that their partner will find them or the one who is so despondent that they think ending their life is far better than enduring the pain and suffering that they are feeling.

If you really are in a situation that is as horrible as one of these, then you need to stop blogging about it on Spark and get some help. You should not be posting your troubles in a blog on SP.

Life sometimes throws us a curveball. My challenge to you: are you going to complain about it, or are you going to let it move to you to make a difference in your life (even if it means an incredible performance on American Idol of a powerful, emotional song)?

Listen for yourselves: www.youtube.com/watch?v=

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh CRAP...I hope one of those drama blogs wasn't mine! emoticon I blog pretty much about anything that is running through my brain at the time. Maybe too much sharing...but I always love my sparklers 'take' on things...even if it's not necessarily agreeing with me. Spark land is one of the most supportive and wonderful internet sites around. I've only had about 2 sparky blogs I just couldn't handle in the six years I've been here. Those were from people who truly wanted only pity and had absolutely no clue nor any gumption whatsoever to better their circumstances.

    Those are the people you really want to give a 'royal' boot in the old keister...but no matter what you say, or suggest, or reference them to...the next blog is the same soggy old stuff.

    I'm with you totally on those...but other times when people are just 'dealing' and are truly struggling to understand things...I feel that maybe a little something I say in comfort might let their path to success be a little closer.

    I absolutely get what you are saying...and if I ever get to be the blog you dread...do TELL me and TELL me quick! emoticon emoticon
    1803 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15118206
    1805 days ago
    I tend to skip most of the drama blogs, but maybe they help the writer to get rid of some bad experience or aid some reader to see that their life is a bit better than they thought. I am grateful to be safe and healthy tonight .......
    1806 days ago
    I wish I could see/hear her sing the song. Your words let me imagine how beautiful La'Porsha Renae must be. The words of the song are so strong, so full of a person going through very hard times. She is strong. She is a winner. She has problems but she held herself up and she chose to WIN. I LOVED reading this Steve. Ilike positive people. Everyone has there problems but what is important is to find the positive road to overcome them. The feeling sorry for oneself will only drag the person down to the negatives in life. We all need to look for being the WINNERS.

    LOVED READING THIS! You made my day buddy. Love you! emoticon
    1806 days ago
    Hmmmm. I have to think this one over Steve. I too avoid "pity potty" blogs because they serve no purpose for me whatsoever. But to say "stop blogging" about your troubles? I don't know about that. This website is for people to feel safe blogging their life trials, tribulations and highlights. It is also a place to learn. I honestly wouldn't feel comfortable telling someone not to blog, but would feel very good to guide them on a happier note. This is just my opinion. Have a great weekend! Hugs, fredie
    1806 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I guess I am a whiner, I will trey to keep others in mind. Thanks Steve.
    1806 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    I'm watching American Idol just because of the last season programming. And along comes La'Porsha Renae, who is totally amazing. Of course you know I had a real good cry. A cry of release, compassion and frustration.

    It sure makes me wonder what she would do with a song like, Strange Fruit. If you're not familiar with the song, listen to Billie Holiday's rendition.

    As to the oh poor me blogs on Spark, if I think I can offer information that can help, then I provide it. If the person never posts anything positive, I'm gone.

    Basically, the choice is ours!
    1806 days ago
    I'm with MEWHENRYSMAMA on this one.
    1806 days ago
    Really good point and I have thought the same thing often. Reading a blog that is more looking for sympathy than looking to fix what is the problem. Me too, if you catch me whining, feel free to help check my attitude!
    1806 days ago
    I watched that, just because I LOVE Adam Lambert so much. The most awesome "second place finisher" of all time.

    This is such an empowering song, and I went back and listened to her sing it. The words, the emotions were just overpowering. It made ME cry.

    If I write a woe is me blog, I give you permission to give me a slap down. I have so many things to be positive about, so many things to look forward to, that I will not, and can not imagine waking up every day feeling great.

    I don't bother with the blogs that tell me that they aren't feeling good, and have been overeating. I just skip them. I want positive friends, I want positive feedback, and if there is NOTHING in your life to feel good about, you need to do some serious re-assessing. This should be a GREAT thing in your life, and you should feel great. Complainers are a bummer.

    The only issue is my knee, and it will be getting better every day. No woe is me. I had the surgery, I am on the other side of it, and will be back kicking some serious ass very soon.

    I am PROBABLY driving out to CA. Taking a while to see the country, stopping by Portland, then moseying down to Ft. Bragg to see my cousin, then will come to Clear Lake. Early June, I think. (working on the plans...)

    1806 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/19/2016 11:11:34 AM
    Wow, awesome performance...and your right...her hair is the Fro of Fros! She's beautiful and talented! I was a big Kelly Clarkson fan and Adam Lambert!
    Now, I agree that there are some major drama blogs...and I have had to stop visiting a few as it went from one drama into another and I am not interested in being a participant in it as it really never resolves...just continues on. However, this site is also about life and struggles and as we "live here" things are going to come up people have to deal with. I have no problem with that and don't think people have to screen out things they are going through and dealing with. If someone has a health scare, or is struggling with unemployment or divorce, I think it's necessary they have an outlet to release it so they can move towards the change going on with the support of the group! I find myself screening what I share...I am not willing to put it all out there, as I do use this site as a support for a lifestyle change with regard to my health and weight loss! I don't necessarily want people's opinions about my private life unless I choose individually to share. Just felt I wanted to clarify that there's life's challenges and then there's just down right drama...which I don't care to deal with and could truly live without!
    Have a great weekend, Steve!
    1806 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16303229
    You wrote what I've been thinking for a while.Gx
    1806 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15520036
    Oh yes. Those lyrics are great!
    1806 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15520036
    This is a fascinating topic for a blog! Some people here occasionally mention, in passing, tough life situations that they're dealing with very courageously. Others talk about a particular difficulty in a blog, and I'm moved and inspired by their writing.

    On the other hand, people sometimes talk about things that remind me of Scott Peck's statement, "Life is hard." In other words everybody has tough experiences. That's a normal part of life. I often need to remind myself of that, too!

    I agree with you that there are other places on the Internet to get sympathy and support for particularly difficult situations. It's wise for us to monitor ourselves for pity-seeking, but basically, we can blog about whatever we like here (within reason, of course.) If we want our blogs to be popular, though, it's probably necessary to have something to offer readers - interesting information, inspiration, humor, entertainment, cheering up etc.
    1806 days ago
    I watched the video, really beautiful and deeply moving.

    1806 days ago
    emoticon with No Drama, and I can imagine what a revelation this insight can be for someone who has suffered a lot because of Drama.

    In my young years I used to think drama was real life and sought for it, and if there was none I created one for myself ; )
    Maybe because drama queens get all the attention?
    Late in my adult life, at 40+ I realized no drama means peace, calm and happiness.
    Emotional overreaction usually doesn't help resolve problems, more often it is a hindrance.

    1806 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/19/2016 4:04:29 AM
  • EISSA7
    Well said!!
    1806 days ago
    1806 days ago
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