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Life is a SHOW ME.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Don't tell me, show me.

I have said this for SO LONG, that it is really part of my life mantra.

Life is a 'show me'. Wait, what does that mean? If someone tells you that they love you, and ignores you, or demeans you, or doesn't help with anything, the words are meaningless. If someone does something for you without asking, something thoughtful, or small, or trivial, but kind, that is a 'show me'. That is a clear demonstration of their love for you.

My BF isn't big on verbal demonstrations of love. He is big on 'show me's'. He has mowed my lawn, when I have been in the hospital, and a million other times, he has washed my car when I wasn't home, he has done a MILLION things, that showed me in so many ways what I meant to him. He takes me to my favorite restaurant, just because he knows I love this one thing there. I wouldn't buy it because it is expensive, but he scoffs, and smiles and says, you are worth it. Get it. And, now I always do, and I enjoy it, but I enjoy him so much more. That is why when he does say something, it means so much to me, because I know he means it, because he has shown me over and over that he does.

I raised my darling Daughter with this 'show me' attitude. If she screwed up, we would talk about it (if you ask her, I am FAMOUS for my lectures about behavior, and everything else), and would tell her that next time, I wanted her to show me she had learned, and wouldn't do it again. As she got older, she understood that more and more. She has done so many kind, unasked for things for me since she has moved home, that were all 'show me's', and I have been touched by every single one. I have done things for her so many times, and even though I tell her I love her all the time, she KNOWS I do.

Friends are the same. Show them you care. Do something unexpected to let them know how much they mean to you. This shouldn't really a monetary thing, it should be a personal gesture of love. Drop off dinner, bring some flowers from your garden, go pick weeds for someone who has trouble gardening. There are a million nice things you can do. Every one will fill up YOUR heart.

My Dad is awesome, but has never been one to tell us we have done well. We know we have done something right when he doesn't say anything. When I was at their house for Christmas, I fixed (re-upholstered) parts of three chairs for my Mom, consulting with her on different fabrics, and making sure they were just what she wanted. A 'show me' for Mom that lasted, because she still talks to me about how much she loves those repaired chairs. Dad, in his typical fashion, looked at one I had fixed and said, hey, I think you need to look at my chair. He sits in a particular chair to read every afternoon, and moves it around as the sun sets. By asking me to look at his chair, he was telling me how much he liked the other jobs I had done, and I fixed his chair too. He sat down in it, and said, fine. I smiled at him, and said, you mean, thanks, honey, this is awesome. He smiled back at me and said, OK. We both laughed.

He has been the most magnificent Dad, with so many 'show me's' that I couldn't even count them. When my DD was a senior in High School, I got a letter from him telling me that he and Mom were paying for her college. I had just filled out all the applications for the student loans with her, and my stomach hurt, how much it was going to put us in debt. He paid for ALL OF IT. He did it without complaint, and with a great deal of love. He made sure she had enough money to get by, but not too much, and she obviously graduated with no debt. They even flew out for her graduation, which was awesome. They ask about her all the time, and I know how much they love her and care. They have shown me over and over how much we mean to them.

There are so many 'show me's' you can do every single day. Let someone get in front of you in a line with a little, squirming kid. Give the guy who is searching for that last nickel at the store enough to pay for his gas. Stop and say hi to your neighbors. Never go by a lemonade stand without buying a cup. Hug more. The more show me's you give, the more you get back.

I know there isn't one person in my life that doesn't know I love them, not because I told them, but because I showed them. Show someone today. It will make YOUR day.

Spark on.
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  • L*I*T*A*
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    1793 days ago
    This blog reminded me of something I did just the other day and it made me smile to remember. I was paying my bill at a restaurant and the person behind me was short a little bit so she went back to get it from her purse. I paid it, winked and walked away smiling for the rest of the night because I was able to do something for someone. Show me's and "pay it forwards" are all ways to make this world a little bit brighter and happier. Thanks for the awesome blog.
    1793 days ago
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    1793 days ago
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    1794 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    Fantastic blog. Showing you love someone is far better than someone saying i love you and do nothing to show it. I grew up in a show the love family as well, I knew they loved me. Your parents were generous with showing the love paying your daughters collage education---that was done with pure of of both you and your daughter,
    1794 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1794 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14034154
    Like you, I've been shown how much I am loved. The very first time, I was too young to remember, which came from my dad, but I was told about it when I was 16, and I loved him even the more. You see, my dad, adopted my brother, my sister, and me, when we were 2, 3, and 4 years old. He cared enough to show his love, by giving us his last name. When I found out at the age of 16, my appreciation of my dad, was more deep than I could imagine it could be. My dad and my mom are definitely "Show Me" people and so am I. Others tell me that I'm crazy, or stupid, but they don't know me like my parents do or God and God Shows Me, all the time.


    - Nancy Jean -
    1794 days ago
    This is so great! SHOW ME- I am in awe! I know I appreciate all the small things hubby does for me. I think Appreciation is his love language.
    What a positive message!
    1794 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    1794 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    What an awesome blog! Thank you for sharing this. I can tell that you have a very special family from your parents to your daughter and it makes me so happy when I read about families that really love one another. What a generous gift your father gave for the education of your daughter through college. That is love. This has brought tears to my eyes reading about all the love you all have for one another. You are awesome. Great job in raising a fabulous daughter and being one as well!
    1794 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12915013
    Beautiful blog. Thank you so much for sharing. Actions Do speak louder then words.
    1794 days ago
    Just a stellar and beautiful blog, Jane! Really!
    I so agree and even people's replies brought tears to my eyes!
    Thank you for reminding me of this...
    Love & Hugs,
    1794 days ago
    doing for others is the BEST way to make yourself feel better. And it doesn't have to be big, grand, gestures.
    1794 days ago
    YES YES YES! I'd rather SEE the love than hear words that may not be meaningful!

    1794 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    Simply put: Actions Speak Louder Than Words!

    Never the less, I will say you are emoticon my emoticon
    1794 days ago
    emoticon blog, thank you for sharing emoticon
    1794 days ago
    Your blog is priceless--- because it delivers a priceless message! Acts of kindness, and giving, are true gifts from the heart... When we are out and about in our daily lives, we have many opportunities to show gestures of concern and kindness. Even small gestures can bring sunshine and joy to others. Look for these "opportunities" because--- as you say--- it can make OUR day as well!
    ---THANK YOU!

    As a post-script--- When you find your prince, make sure he treats you like a PRINCESS. He should "show you"--- not just tell you. The examples of this blog are excellent indeed. I remember the song. "Little Things Mean A Lot"--- Nice!
    1794 days ago
    This really took me back. When I got home from the hospital after my accident, Steve had to do everything. He gave me injections of Lovenox every morning, made my breakfast, brought me the newspaper, made my bed, helped me shower, and snuggled with me at night before going upstairs to bed. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about all the sacrifices he made for me so that I could get well.

    You are so right. You can hear "I love you" over and over, but without the acts to accompany the expression, they are just meaningless words. We are loved because someone shows us.

    Thank you for bringing back such wonderful memories. Keep Sparking, Jane! XOXOXOX
    1794 days ago
    What an important thing to remember. My husband is full of those little "show me's" that I'm sad to say I don't always appreciate. The biggest display was last summer when I was non-weight bearing - he did EVERYTHING without complaint, often without my asking.

    But just yesterday he needed to buy a couple things on Amazon for his photography. We always do it on my log-in but we pay with his photography account. I had a coffee grinder saved - I have a little coffee grinder for coffee but I want a separate one for flax seeds and other such things. I put it in the 'wait till later' section and he said "Put that back - I can buy a coffee grinder for my sweetie." Totally unexpected because he is very careful with his photography money! Definitely a "show me" moment, huh!
    1794 days ago
    Love is not only a feeling, it's a verb. emoticon BB~
    1794 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/30/2016 10:24:52 AM
  • no profile photo CD13354694
    emoticon blog!!! emoticon
    1794 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16110307
    Beautiful blog ! emoticon
    1794 days ago
    Love it
    1794 days ago
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