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Day 492 - True Colors

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

There must be something in the cosmos that is causing so much angst on SP today. Two of my friends posted major disappointments with SP, having a blog taken down because someone was offended, a mobile app that doesn't work as expected, or just general frustration.

I also upset someone unintentionally with a comment I made on someone's blog post that I thought had another interpretation other than what the writer intended. It wasn't intended to be offensive, but it apparently was, because the friend called me out on my SparkPage. I apologized, and even my apology was offensive. So this friend wrote a blog post today calling me out as someone not worthy of friendship, apparently. (For those of you who follow both of us, yes, it was me who committed such a horrible crime.)

Yes, there is definitely something in the air.

I am nothing if I'm not authentic. What you see is what you get. Yes, sometimes I say things that push people's buttons. Yes, I sometimes see things from a different angle, and yes, I might mention it. But this is me, and you have to accept the whole package. I will not modify who I am for someone else who is bothered by one thing or another.

But that authenticity also comes with responsibility. If I upset someone, I apologize. I apologize for hurting another person, because I am legitimately sorry. If my apology is not accepted or appreciated, well, that makes me sad too, but I can deal with it. I'm a grown up, and know how to behave that way. I do take responsibility for my actions.

If someone were to tell me that I came across differently than I intended, I would thank them for the feedback, ask for clarification if I needed it, and use the information to make me a better person. I hope you'll be honest with me if I say something that upsets you. I won't mind. But let's have a dialogue about it so we can both grow.

But I will warn you now, I will not stop being me, even as I always strive to be a better me tomorrow than I am today. And that might mean saying something that might offend you. If you can't accept my apology, then I will wish you all the best.

Keep Sparking!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So sorry. The tricky thing about communicating just with words - blogs, texts, email - is that we can't see a person's face, or hear the nuance of a tone or see someone's face. I've had similar things happen with texting. Awhile ago, I made a joke via text with a friend and it hit a nerve I didn't know was there. Hope you can re-connect. Life is very short and friends are hard to come by!
    1786 days ago
  • FITNIK2020
    An apology refused is awful, and I have learned a bit more about my own interactions just reading this again. I've backed off blogging...but I have not stopped reading.
    1787 days ago
  • FITNIK2020
    On one occasion, I offended someone with a remark I thought was funny. Oh oh...on a New Year's Eve and my husbands birthday. They refused my apology, offered twice, and we left the party for our home ... I grew up a little more that day. An apology
    1787 days ago
  • FITNIK2020
    The comment was totally misinterpreted but comes from a place we may not fully understand. Do not change ( as if you could ) and handling difficult posts is part of this process. I have disturbed many ... And I will always be me. Outspoken and honest
    1787 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15118206
    Do You! emoticon
    1787 days ago
    I can't imagine you being offensive, some people are truly over sensitive. Just keep being you!
    1789 days ago
  • AURA18
    You are a better person, and inspire me! Keep sparking! emoticon
    1789 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    You got it right Steve, you are nothing if you are not authentic. Having said that, I must also say that I believe that you would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings. You apologized for whatever you said, that the blogger took offence at. There is nothing more that you can or should do.

    It strikes me as strange that when a person posts a blog they expect every comment to be the written equivalent of a resounding round of applause.

    emoticon emoticon
    1789 days ago
    You know I had a similar conversation with someone just today. I said something that she did not like and she felt offended (even though it was true and correct information-not opinion). I too apologized but as I reflected on what was said, I was a little disconcerted. Why should I apologized for saying something that was accurate. The truth is the truth and whether one like it or not is does not change. So it happened -- she may still be pissed but I'm not bending or becoming a chameleon with my values. I respect you for being who you are - that the only person you can be. I'm like Popeye the Sailor Man, " “I am what I am, and that's all that I am.”
    1789 days ago
    Hold your head high, my friend. It is a small person who cannot accept an apology. Your sense of self worth needs to be in line with your value, and you, my dear, are the gold standard.

    When things like this happen, don't doubt yourself, consider the source!!

    I know I did.

    1789 days ago
    I'm very sorry about this occurrence...I've never known you to be ANYTHING other than completely supportive to ALL of your friends! Especially this one in almost every single comment I've ever read that you have written to her. I didn't read the offensive comment that she is referring to... I know sometimes what we write comes out differently than how it would come across if you were in person when we can recognize facial features that go along with it.

    I also know that being all thin skinned about things and refusing to take an apology if it is sincere is silly. I met one of my BEST sparky friends and then went on to meet her in person because I was open minded enough to take a snarky comment she had made and tell her I didn't agree with it but thought it worthy of consideration. Not everyone is going to agree with us all the time...that's a given...and if you can't take some criticism without falling apart and getting your panties in a wad it's just sorrowful.

    With this sparky friend...although I CLEARLY thought she was in the wrong..we agreed not to agree on that certain comment but I did not slam the SPARK door in her face and ruin the opportunity to associate with a wonderfully (if strongly opinionated) Greek lady. Spark has lost her... she passed about a year ago (MsEleni) but I loved her warts and all...and she loved me back...warts and all. I honestly think that is the Spark way..it's not a contest in popularity or to get friends to side in one corner or another.

    I dearly love this spark friend also...but if she is this thin skinned I am now leery of saying something...anything really that might cause her to launch into me...I don't need that...and I don't think you do either. emoticon

    I love you Steve...you KNOW that...and I love her also...the whole situation just makes me perplexed and off balance. Let's hope you can agree to disagree and move on...let's hope so. emoticon that is the purpose of spark as I understand it.

    What ever could you have said that was so offensive? emoticon

    1789 days ago
    Sorry that has happened to you, Steve and I do hope the other person feeling's recover quickly. Hugs!
    1789 days ago
    I don't always like or agree with comments on my blogs but that is ridiculous.
    1789 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    What on God's green earth could YOU have said? I read every blog you write..
    IF something hits too close to home, perhaps a person needs to look in the mirror. Unless I missed something, if you mentioned names or added an insult to a certain person, most of your blogs are about you or work!
    If you can do one thing to change, DON'T!!!!!!
    1789 days ago

    1789 days ago
    Oh my! I thought it was just me emoticon Keep doing what you are doing sweetie. You are a treasure!
    1790 days ago
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