My Spark Coach assignment for today was to write a supportive letter to myself., from a friends perspective. What can I say, when ever I need a boost, or a kick in the pants, there is something external that speaks to my heart.
You have been actively working your program since September 2015. Your first step was to log your food and track your activity. You have been fluttering along with fits and starts.
Good job on completing the 30 day small challenges. Setting your goals, action steps and adjusting the sails as you continue are your journey has been
You are really good at working your plan, until distractions come along. Keep pushing it lady. You are getting there. Don't beat yourself up for what you haven't accomplished. Give yourself a pat on the back for how far you have come.
Continue motivating yourself and challenging yourself.
You quit smoking, and held fast for 173 days. That was quite a good streak. You had a relapse. I am sorry that happened, but I don't want you to feel bad about it. I know you are trying, and sometimes that happens. I know you will regain your non-smoker status. You can do this!
So you fell off the wagon, get up, dust off your britches and start again! DON'T QUIT working your program! Think of this as a detour. It is easy to take for granted that once you have mastered something, it will last forever. So start another streak, and stay motivated. Wear earplugs so you don't hear negative thoughts. Put sweet smelling flowers on your desk. Enjoy the process of finding your sobriety! Keep posting your daily
. Keep going and never give up.
Be mindful of the danger as you are reaching your goals because you are working hard. Complacency comes in because you are handling it, and then BOOM- one day you are no longer being mindful and the little slips become a landslide.
The stress levels created by the family tensions were pretty bad, and you hadn't prepared yourself for this. Congratulations for not losing that temper of yours and for trying to see it from the other parties perspective!
I am sorry your spouse's reaction to the tension and smoking
, threatened the marriage. You didn't see that coming, I am sure. You have realized your spouse is one of those people where every thing is fine as long as it is going his way. You have the right, and the responsibility to speak up and if he choses not to receive the information, it in no way diminishes your worth as and individual. You do have some serious matters that need to be settled, and I know God will be with you as you make the decisions.
All you can do is leave the past in the past, slow down, regroup and continue to make yourself a priority. What will happen will happen, and stressing about it isn't going to resolve the issues.
Remember you can only focus on the things within your circle of influence. This is your hula hoop. You can't be responsible of others feelings or reactions. While you will always be Mom, your children are adults and will have to navigate their way through life too.
The other thing that you have tried to do is keep others from interfering with issues inside your hula hoop. Friends and family may try to do things for you, but ultimately you are the one who makes the final decision. Be patient, respectful and kind, but also remain steadfast. No one has the right to tell you what to eat, how to do things or if you are allowed to smoke.
I know criticism cuts deeply into your heart. You have no control over what others say. You can choose to ignore the comments, or move on. This isn't as easy with people you live with. Acknowledge that they are trying to help, but remind them it isn't their responsibility or duty. Let them know that if you need their help, you will ask.
The storm that is brewing is coming is partially due to not communicating your wishes and expectations clearly. All you can do it hold fast to your convictions, and let it unfold. If the relationship is truly built on honesty and respect, the waters will calm. If the foundation is not solid, then you have to accept that, and dance through it without guilt or remorse.
Another part of the issue is taking things for granted. It was great that hubby picked up all the household chores for you when you weren't feeling well. Now that you are physically able to participate in the chores, it is unreasonable to expect the same level of support. Again complacency sets in. Team members work together towards a common goal. I know that sharing is hard for you, as you have only had to rely on yourself for so many years. But all the players on the team need to be doing their share of the work.
Bless you my friend.