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It just is

Saturday, April 23, 2016

I have come to the conclusion at this time in my life that I am worrying about unimportant stuff...I am not fond of the weight and size I am at the moment, but I have come to realize it is who I am. Does that mean I give up trying to be healthy and fit? Absolutely not! It means I am no longer working out to lose weight or be healthy- I have started swimming again for the pure enjoyment of it. Years (and years and years) ago, I was put on a swim team to help me deal with my parents divorce..and I did find that concentrating on making it from wall to wall and not losing count on how many laps I was doing, kept me from all the nasty thoughts that an 8 year old would focus on...Now, at almost 40, I was focused on all the wrong things, all the things I was not satisfied with in my life...I decided that needed to change- I was worth the $40 bucks a month to go to a gym with a pool...I was worth the extra money for a workout suit...and now I am finding happiness in the pool again..sometimes I use the time to give some thought to some problems, but mostly I just focus on putting one arm in front of the other...I started out only being able to swim 40 laps, 2 at a time with a significant rest on the wall (I say "only" because there was a time for me when 40 laps was a warm up). Today I did 50 laps, 10 laps at a time with minimal rest at the wall...and willing to bet there will be more to come! I did a water aerobics class too! I felt incredibly stupid at first, and then I started to think, who cares?! I had a great time! (and 2 days later my muscles hurt like crazy!) I cut my hair nice and short, mostly because I hated the damage all my seizure meds had done to it, but I also just wanted the simplicity...slowly but surely the petty stuff is getting less and less of my attention! The water is so calming, my knees don't hurt, I don't have the sweaty gross feeling, and I feel great when I climb out of the pool. What I lack in speed and endurance, I make up in skill. For once, I am actually focusing on how to swim the strokes, and how best to put my muscles to work! (my swim coaches would be proud!)I am not even thinking of this as a "new start" - it just is. And I am completely satisfied with that.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KRISZTA11
    I loved your blog!
    Swimming is a great workout, but you turned it into peaceful quality time with yourself, similar to meditation. It was good to read about the enjoyment and the mind calming effect.
    emoticon to your progress!
    1686 days ago
  • VETTECHKAT1961
    Great attitude! It's too easy for us to beat ourselves up and to think we're not worth the time or money. Do it for you!
    1686 days ago
  • MAYIE53
    I think it's just great how you are approaching this whole healthy living journey. I think that not stressing about the weight is going to move you even further. It's awesome that you enjoy swimming and have the technical skills to maximize your time in the water. I live in a block that has a pool but I never use it. I have never been comfortable in the water and have experienced 3 serious near drowning incidents in my lifetime. I WISH I loved being in the water. I WISH I was a competent swimmer. My knees would surely thank me. But . . . Great job you are doing. Keep it up!! emoticon
    1686 days ago
  • no profile photo FRANAWE
    I think your attitude is just perfect! I wish I could swim 40 laps even if it took all day! Keep it up😊
    1686 days ago
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