Sunday, May 08, 2016
I never felt the urge to have kids until I ended up with the hub - I had been engaged before, but never had parenting dreams with the others. And being a mother has been transforming. I tell young expectants that before kids, I was happy; after kids, I knew true joy. And I know not everyone feels this way; my sister and her hub are perfectly happy not having kids. But the way I am built, being a mother has been unimaginably fun and fulfilling.
And I've been very lucky, because I really *like* our kids. They are both teens now, but never had extended sullen, difficult phases. Not that they are always easy, but the tough times never lasted long, and once they or we had time to think, we always found a way to talk things out. And I think they're both such interesting creatures. I'm not sure the hub and I had that much to do with it, other than making sure that they were safe, fed, and clothed. They're now both smarter than we are, so they're raising themselves at this point. The hub and I are just along for the ride.
So now it's 2 am Mother's Day morning, and the college kid, who moved back home for the summer yesterday, is still out with friends. I'm going to go to bed without texting him or waiting up for him, which represents huge emotional growth for me (!). But I am taking some quiet time to look at old pictures, when the kids were little and cuddly, before they both grew taller than I. I miss those sweet days, but I love who our kids are growing to be, and am excited (and a little anxious!) to see who they will be in the future. It's been a tremendous privilege, this parenting thing.