Sunday, May 08, 2016
Mother's Day is always bittersweet for me. The day after Mother's Day in my 26th year, I learned my mom's cancer (which I had been told was in remission) was actually inoperable and she had only less than a year to live. I was carrying my 4th child. She lived with us. My only sibling refused to help at all when she found out mom had cancer. Time does soften some things, but there are other things you never figure out. I was very blessed to have the time I did with my mom. However, I had to listen to her cry for a daughter to come see her and ask God why that daughter didn't love her. Those are things I have no answers to. Nor is my sibling, after me trying at different times for almost 38 years, willing to tell me. The last answer I got a few months ago was, " It wouid break your little heart if I told you." I have not led a luxurious life.I am 64 and have worked hard long hours all my life until 10 years ago when I became disabled. I have known my share of heartache. The statement she made wad ludicrous. Basically I lost all of my original family when my mother passed. I have finally realized I am not alone. This happens more than we would like to think. Thank God, as my dons grew older they underdtood why some years a few tears slipped down my cheeks. And why sometimes a new rose bush or lily got planted on that day. It is just a daughter remembering her MOM. Catch you later.