Monday, May 23, 2016
I've had artist's block for the longest time. For a short period about 6 months or so ago, I started experimenting with watercolours and it was working really well. Then one day I woke up and I just had nothing. I sat there, staring at a blank piece of paper, wondering what I could possibly put on it. And I had no answer. So I gave up.
If I'm truly honest with myself, I'm not sure whether it really is entirely a block, a whole lot of laziness, or I've lost my passion (I really, really hope not). Laziness is something I've struggled with my whole life. I'm a very lazy person and even making small changes to my couch-potato life has at times felt like rolling a hay bale up a hill. Despite this struggle, however, I have made some pretty serious changes to my lifestyle over the past couple of years, which I'm quite proud of and plan to keep up indefinitely. At least I know that if it is laziness that's holding me back, I just need to kick my own butt a bit and I will be able to overcome it.
My biggest fear in relation to my artist's block, is that perhaps it's not laziness or an actual mental/creativity block. Perhaps I have lost my passion for art. Sometimes I think to myself, I should paint today, then I think, ugh, I really don't want to. That makes me wonder if I have actually completely lost my desire to create art. This would be a bit of a tragedy for me, as it's been my main hobby since I was a child, it's something that's always been there for me. If I was bored I could draw. If I felt down I could paint it all out.
I'm not entirely sure how to help myself, especially if I've lost my passion. I suppose perhaps if I can set myself a goal of painting or drawing for even just half an hour every day, that might spark something inside me and I may rediscover my love of all things art. Wish me luck, because I feel like something is missing from my soul and it's going to be a struggle to get it back.