This is a tough blog.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
A little back story first. I am one of four children. First came my brother, then me, then two younger sisters. One sister lives nearby, and we don't really see each other, because of her attitude and addictions. The other came into town yesterday, with her DARLING Daughter, who has Cerebral Palsy. I asked my darling Daughter to take her cousin out last night for dinner. My DD has just started her new job, and was tired. She asked if I would go with them, so she could have a beer or two and not have to drive (that's my girl!!). I told her that I would lvoe to come, and the three of us headed off to a local restaurant/bar to eat and talk.
My niece told us, during the dinner, that she was having more trouble walking then usual, because she was on some different medication. Doctors have tried for years to ease her difficulty walking, and have never been successful. Cerebral Palsy affects the ability of the brain to send signals to muscles. Luckily, my niece only has it in her thighs, but try to walk without those muscles, and you will understand her difficulty.
She then told us that the medication was anti-depressants, because she had been cutting herself. I have heard of cutting, have been horrified by it, but didn't understand the reasons behind it. It is a way to feel pain, to take away your inside pain. It turns out that her Father has been hitting her, and verbally abusing her. On Father's day, he called her a name, I can't even write here, but is most certainly not a name I would ever call a handicapped person, or anyone else for that matter. This man has a history of awful behavior. I have tried for YEARS to get my sister to leave him, as he was so abusive to her, both physically and mentally, but she would not leave because of her daughter. Now, it is a generational problem.
My DD and I spent a lot of time talking to my niece about her Father, her reaction, and her need to stand up for herself, and to tell this JERK that she will no longer accept his behavior. My DD even went farther, and told her cousin to text her if her Dad said ANYTHING to her, and my DD would tell her why it wasn't true. Proud Mom. I told my niece that I would be happy to fill in too, and if this continued, that I was coming out there and was going to raise hell.
It is such an interesting thing to me, because I have never had a problem speaking up for myself. If ANY man would have ever said, or done anything like that, he would not only be gone, he would know that his behavior was unconsionable. My sister never got this forthrightness, and it has harmed both her and her daughter. I am so sad today, thinking that this man has done these things to two really good women.
Cutting is very common among teens and young adults. My DD told me that she knew a lot of kids who had done it. Getting to the root of why is critical. I am going to talk to my sister about counseling, both for her and her daughter. Her husband will never go. He needs to go.