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An emotional birthday

Saturday, July 02, 2016

Twenty five years ago yesterday, my darling Daughter was born. Somehow, this milestone hit me really deeply, as I remember vividly how that birth-day went, and how I felt the first time I saw my child.

So many life moments have gone on since then, childhood, school, AWFUL Jr. High, good High School, then college. Now she has a real job, and is more excited and fulfilled then I have ever seen her. It is so gratifying to be a Mother, to see your child grow up, to see them become the people you want them to be, to have them turn in to magnificent adults.

There are so many memories, so many times that I can look back and marvel at how we are able to manage parenthood with no books and no text as to how it works. If you do it right, your mistakes become their learning tools, and they morph into better people then you.

I took my DD out to breakfast yesterday. I had not been with her on her birthday, since she was nine years old, because every single year, she was at Camp Warren, first as an avid camper, and later as a great and enthusiastic counselor. I readily gave her to camp for her birthday, as I knew and know how much that meant to her, for her growth, for her character, for livelong frienships, with perfectly awesome kids.

She has an absent Father. We talked about this yesterday, how it had affected her, and how tough it was. She said that it wasn't as tough, because I was always there. That felt good. The irony of her absent Father, was that HE had an absent Father, and was adversely affected by it in many ways, and was unable to break the chain. I knew that, and knew that I would allow him to see her, and have a relationship if he chose, but he somehow, sued me for visitation, then never visited. He owes me hundreds of thousands of dollars. I never saw one single child support payment.

No matter, we survived, we thrive, we are strong, she is a marvel. My Daughter is the most cherished part of life, and she has no idea how much of my heart is sitting in hers.

Spark on.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    The more you share about your DD the more she sounds like you. Kind, thoughtful, talented, intelligent and beautiful inside and how. So a slightly belated emoticon to you both. May you celebrate many more birthdays together!

    emoticon emoticon
    1699 days ago
  • SRWYLIE
    Happy Birthday, MF! You are so beautiful and talented, and you take after your mom in every good way! I feel like I know you, even though we've never met, and I know how lucky you feel to have an awesome mom who was your super-parent and biggest champion. Having her to cheer you on allowed you to grow and thrive and succeed!

    And congratulations to your mom, who moves me every time she writes, and has become a cherished friend.

    To both of you: XOXOXOXOXOX
    1699 days ago
  • MPLSKEN
    Happy Birthday to your daughter! You are both so lucky to have so many great memories!
    emoticon
    1699 days ago
  • RAZZOOZLE
    emoticon
    1699 days ago
  • L*I*T*A*
    Happy birthday and best wishes to your daughter!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1699 days ago
  • KOFFEENUT
    Being a single mom is tough and it sounds like you've come out on the other side with a wonderful, well-adjusted daughter!
    1699 days ago
  • CHERALA
    Happiest of birthdays to your daughter! And here's to you, a great parent (both Mom and Dad)! You did good.
    1699 days ago
  • HARRIETT14
    Your DD will understand how deeply you feel when she becomes a parent herself. I know for a fact because my children are standing in my shoes. Cherish each moment because somehow they are just moments that fly by. Happiness to you and your DD.
    1700 days ago
  • SUSANELAINE1956
    Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughter.

    1700 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    Happy Birthday to your daughter, so wonderful the two of you are close. As for the absent father, he will never know all that he missed by not being in her life. He could have ended the absent father life he grew up in.
    1700 days ago
  • MEWHENRYSMAMA
    Beautiful blog in tribute to your wonderful daughter, motherhood and strong women!
    It will never cease to amaze me the strength women have and how they can nurture, protect and
    manage all they can and still raise a healthy happy child!
    Enjoy the sweet fruit of your labor!
    Hugs,
    Mary

    1700 days ago
  • SPARKLINGME176
    So happy for you & your daughter!
    So happy for me, because your last blog in my email, could not be opened! Then when I went to my friends list, I couldn't find you there, either! I thought you had left SP. YEAH! emoticon Glad to see you!
    1700 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    His loss.
    1700 days ago
  • OBIESMOM2
    emoticon to your girl!

    I'm betting she is as proud of you as you are of her.
    1700 days ago
  • SUZYB53
    Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot to me to read it.
    1700 days ago
  • ENDUROVET
    Awesome! Happy BD to yr DD! I was misled by 1st atty - signed off on generous visitation (which Ex used as weapon of coercion/control) since "dads usually burn out"... Of course Ex never did, but fortunately it seems Z is bouncing back.
    1700 days ago
  • HEDSTS58
    I think you've done a great job with raising your daughter, despite the obstacles and deadbeat dad. Your daughter has always seemed to be a great kid by what you've written about her. You enjoy yourself Mom, you deserve it. Have a Happy and safe 4th
    1700 days ago
  • ONEKIDSMOM
    Amen to all you said about the joy of parenthood and seeing your children survive to a thriving adulthood. Good job, Mom! emoticon
    1700 days ago
  • NEW-CAZ
    Wonderful blog, emoticon to your DD, you've obviously done a tremendous job bringing her up again the odds emoticon emoticon
    1700 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13354694
    emoticon
    1700 days ago
  • MINNIEUK
    Lovely blog! Happy Birthday to your daughter. How wonderful that you were able to celebrate with her.
    1700 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15665102
    What a beautiful post. I'm happy for the relationship you were able to build.
    1700 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    The love you have for your daughter always comes shining through and especially today! You have done an awesome job of raising this beautiful young lady. Happy Birthday to her! May she have many happy healthy years in her life!
    1700 days ago
  • PACEKA1
    I believe it is the greatest reward when we see those children, who we held in our arms seconds after birth and nurtured every minute of their lives, grow into the amazing people we always knew they could be. I remember every minute of each birth and relive those moments on each of their birthdays.

    Happy Birthday to your daughter and congratulations to you for a job very well done!
    1700 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    ((((HUGS)))) You have done an outstanding parenting job. It IS emotional when you think of all that has happened over the years.

    Have to agree . . . Middle School for both my kids . . . was . . . HORRID!! But we've survived. Yeah!

    Happy birthday to your DD! And many happy, healthy more to come.
    1700 days ago
  • PAREEMATTOX
    Being a parent is the greatest gift. Sounds like you did an amazing job
    1700 days ago
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