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Day 711 It was an emotional confusing day.

Monday, July 25, 2016

I noticed last night that my Misfit was not talking to SP. Well after some research it hasn't been working for several days. And one of those days I managed 15,000 steps. So sad about my exercise and work not showing up. Also a bit angry about that.

Then came the frustration with mom and dad. Dad called twice today to find out where his appt. is tomorrow and why we are going. We are going because he didn't think he could live until the 9th. So I had his appt. moved up. Also frustrated with their supplemental insurance. They refuse to talk to me about anything even if my dad has a policy or not without his permission. He can't hear on the phone. So I hold the phone up to him with the speaker on and translate the questions and then answer them because he doesn't always understand.

Then came the panic attack about going to my class reunion in a month. I am having lots of problems with interacting with people. I feel so needy and scared. I'm always shocked when someone talks to me like you would any other person. I don't feel I deserve that. Getting to the reunion is going to take some soul searching.

So after a nice Xanax I decided to clean up the kitchen and attack my laundry all things that got ignored during last weeks Zombie attack. I do feel some pride that it didn't take me all that long to put things in order in the kitchen since I had done a pretty good job just 2 weeks ago.

So today we've had sad, angry, frustrated, upset, panic and pride. That was a lot of garbage to stick in one day.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You do so well with your dad, and you have good insight into what he needs, and you provide. You give him your best and you do it genuinely with a gentle touch and concern for his feelings. That means a lot when working with an elderly parent. You make sure he keeps his integrity and dignity. You boost him up and aren't undermining him as an individual. In short you are loving daughter with more patience than you give yourself credit for. So what if you need a Xanax to make it through the day. If it helps then let it help you. Your knees and your nerves deserve it.

    Talking with people can be nerve wracking and frustrating when you don't know what they expect of you. I have this problem too. I've been told that people are just people, and they may be as insecure as we are. Just be yourself. It doesn't matter. You go and see old friends and make new friends and remember old memories. This reunion will only happen once. Don't miss it. Go for it!
    1311 days ago
    Sometimes the best thing you can say about a day is "Well, THAT'S over!" Good for you for keeping perspective on a tough day.
    1312 days ago
    Some days all we can do is be glad they are over and look forward to the new day.
    1312 days ago
    That is a lot for one day, but you successfully made it through to the other side. Hopefully tomorrow is better!
    1312 days ago
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