The dreaded weight!
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Once again, I have hit the "I can't stand myself weight"! I truly cannot count how many times I have been here but I know that it makes me feel like crap every time I end up here.
What is a "I can't stand myself weight"? It is a weight in which I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It is a weight that makes me avoid full length mirrors and forces me to change out of my work clothes (ahh, hello stretchy fabric!) as soon as I get home or at least unbutton my pants because holding in my stomach is becoming too much of a chore and I fear I will finally bust out the seams and have no other choice but to buy larger ones.
I have been avoiding the scale for probably the last month. Although usually a frequent walker, the sweltering humidity of a Midwest summer has kept me indoors on my formerly active lunch breaks. In addition, summer get-togethers and ice cream treats have derailed my dietary efforts at weight loss and apparently now even weight maintenance. I don't know what possessed me to step on the scale today other than the fact that it dawned on me that I had not done so in awhile. It shouldn't have surprised me that the familiar number of my dreaded weight flashed up at me.
157 pounds. That is the number. It's not a huge number but it is the highest outside of pregnancy that I have ever been and on my petite frame it is the number that transforms that frame into a more round than rectangle shape. Ironically, it seems to be the weight the I will inevitably reach if I am not careful with my diet and exercise. I wonder if this could be the "set point" for my body that I've heard about on various podcasts.
The good thing about this dreaded weight is that at least in the past, it has been the impetus for me to make lifestyle changes. I have no doubts that I can turn it around and I am making plans to do just that. This time, though, I am hoping that I can somehow make the changes last so that I never have to see this number on my scale again or worse yet, see it higher than that. Here's to yet another new beginning.