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Spoken from the HEART : Eating My Way Through RAW EMOTIONAL PAIN

Friday, August 19, 2016

This is my last week In the Summer Challenge and I had been doing WELL, LOSING WEIGHT THROUGHOUT the Challenge on a consistent basis.Then ,the bottom fell out this last week.
To update those reading who did not get to read my last blog~
I hosted a birthday party @ home for my young child and NO ONE CAME.
My child,my DH and I were DEVASTATED. Though we salvaged the day by going to the movies and my DS and DH seemed to bounce back fine {kids truly are resilient~and to the SP members and friends who wanted to send birthday cards ~he really doesn't want any ,but says thank you all the same.}, I DID NOT .
FIRST, there was the RAW ,EMOTIONAL PAIN AND HURT ~
of being betrayed {we were expecting at least 4 kids}.
THEN, I was ANGRY at how could they do this to my child?
I read my Bible for strength and comfort and there it was :
Psalm 118 :8~ " It is better to take REFUGE in the LORD than to TRUST in man."
NEXT, I thought ~what to DO with the party favor bags ? After everything was taken down and forgotten, there THEY were ,as an UNPLEASANT reminder. I could throw them away ,but I talked to my husband and he said ,
" Do not think how you can get back at the parents.Let the Lord take them to the woodshed. Give each one the party favor bags."
So, I did and similar to what JOYCE MEYERS had said in one of her tapes~ "Do what is RIGHT in the eyes of the Lord and your emotions will eventually follow." That is EXACTLY right. Each person had a ready excuse as to why they missed the party and could not RSVP and accepted the bags without question. I felt better.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME FROM the day of the party 8/13 all the way to now 8/19~ I ATE THE PARTY FOOD~only 2 were HEALTHY ~ the fruit kabobs and the veggies tray.
I ATE EVERYTHING ~
PIZZA, CHIPS,DIP, VEGGIES WITH THE DRESSING, SALSA,LIL PIGS IN BLANKETS, CHICKEN NUGGETS ,POPCORN CHICKEN NUGGETS,COTTON CANDY, AND CAKE ,not caring about calories,sodium {although ,surprisingly, my sodium was down most of the time!}OR tracking much . I
I DID 2 HEALTHY THINGS ~I KEPT UP my WATER INTAKE OF 8 OR MORE GLASSES and EXERCISED {THOUGH not as heavily as I USUALLY DO}.
That was last week.
TODAY is A NEW DAY.
I got up the courage to WEIGH MYSELF on the scale.~~ 188.8 lbs. ~~~4.5 lbs. in a WEEK!
All the weight I LOST during the Summer and part of the Spring Challenge was back. But THE FUNNY THING IS it does NOT FEEL like it is and my ENERGY LEVEL IS HIGH . Maybe ,because AFTER I THREW ,YES,THREW OUT all the JUNK FOOD IN THE FRIDGE AND FREEZER,gave away the cake {we wrapped it up and put it in the party favor bags!},threw away the LEFTOVER PANCAKES I had made yesterday, I DECLARED to my family, "We are going to START EATING CLEAN! " No more cheese sticks,no more fries.
{ I will allow myself ONE slice of deli meat on my sandwich @ lunch with ONE slice of cheese on ONE slice of bread ~b/c that HAS WORKED FOR ME in the past and ONE AREA I CAN regulate!}.
I LOVE the writing on NEWTINK's page {Darlene~one of our leaders for the Casual TRavelers~it talks about the OLD Me and the NEW ME and how I am NOT going to listen to the OLD Me anymore!~
" I will beat her~
I will train harder.
I will eat cleaner.
I know her weaknesses .
I know her strengths.
I 've lost to her before.
But not this time.
She is going down.
I have the advantage because I know her well.
She is the OLD ME."

I know my weaknesses ~to eat junk food at times.
I know my strengths~to workout regularly and drink my 8 or more glasses of water!
I know emoticon because I have done it BEFORE and SUCCEEDED.
AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN!

Thank you for reading and in advance ,for your uplifting comments . I am NOT DOWN. I will emoticon ,for I KNOW that " God works for the good of those who love Him ,who have been called ,according to His purpose."~Romans 8:28
Remember, emoticon .We know the emoticon, and emoticon !!!!!!!!!!!!



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD16633328
    You are an amazing family. I like that you gave the good bags to the families that you had invited to the party. You turned the other cheek and moved forward. I feel badly for your son. You and your husband turned a bad situation into a good one for your son. cheers to you both. Congrats on your weight loss and sometimes we just have to treat ourselves to a taste of the things we love. emoticon
    1485 days ago
  • CATNURSE1
    It's people like you that I like reading about. I've read about people that bounce back, I've read stories about people saying that negative things don't bother them. I have a sister that is neurotic, though I love her dearly. It's one of those, "If they can do it, why can't I?" moments that keeps me going.

    At our house, the birthday boy/girl get to pick out the cake they want (spice with lemon drizzle), the dinner they want (Greek salad) and they movie they want to watch ("Rear Window"), which the family will endure without any negative comments. Just sit there for two hours, smile and wave, boys. We all have different tastes, but you know, it's a good thing. At my birthday celebration, my cake turned out to be spice with lemon buttercream, sprinkles, and baked lemon meringues. My Greek salad dinner turned out to be salad and garlic bread and calzones and two types of alfredo (chicken and seafood). I also got two pounds of Russell Stover chocolates. Okay, there's my indulgences for the week -- make that the month -- as I find giving in one day stops me from giving in the other six days. We actually took four days to eat the cake (thank you, Lucy the Wonder Dog for helping) and a week to finish all the food, pairing it with fruit salad and extra veggies. I was proud of myself for gaining yet losing that week. Oh, and the movie was "Rear Window" (my second choice since no one will watch "Psycho") and on Sunday we took a break from the Olympics and watched "A Man For All Seasons" which I love. This one I did not make the kids watch (and they thanked goodness for it).

    For some unknown reason, this makes me think of the Windex commercial song -- "Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a Windex shine!" Now it will be stuck in my head all night.

    emoticon to you!
    1490 days ago
  • JANIEWWJD
    You are a real trooper! I admire the way you handled the party situation. Just start the week correctly and you will be fine! God bless you!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1490 days ago
  • NEVERORNOW
    I think your reaction was pretty normal under the circumstances, that's a horrible thing to see your child go thru. :( Having said that - it obviously wasn't the best way to handle it, but it's over with and you learned a lot from it. That's called "progress". Good for you in getting the rest of the food out of the house and getting back on track. emoticon
    1490 days ago
  • SEAJESS
    emoticon You gave your son the best present a parent can give. You showed him some things about how to deal with emotional pain and disappointment, learn from the experience and move on. Every human life is filled with suffering and it is finding the meaning that transforms it. Like LIFENPROGRESS said, it's the love that counts.

    emoticon The clean eating program sounds awesome. Keep us posted, please!

    emoticon emoticon
    1490 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/20/2016 3:08:59 PM
  • GOCALGAL
    People can let you down. be hurtful and UNbelievably inconsiderate but "letting go and letting God" along with "Fall down 7 times, get up 8" is an awesome example that you and DH are setting for your son. Get right back on track asap. emoticon emoticon
    1490 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/20/2016 11:56:56 AM
  • -POOKIE-
    I am glad you are feeling brighter and out the other side of what happened. And glad your little boy is dealing with it ok.
    1491 days ago
  • SUSANSKI
    I am laughing so hard at the way you wrote this blog. You took me from one emotion to the next and then picked up the pace by blasting us with all the food you pigged out on! HILARIOUS!
    I love ya, my Friend.
    Great job!
    Susan
    1491 days ago
  • MAYIE53
    Good job, Mom and Dad. You are such a loving, caring family. Your son is truly blessed. Now show him how fast you get back in the saddle. You can and will do this, faster than you think.
    1491 days ago
  • MASTERPIECE8
    A devastating experience. There is nothing like seeing your child hurt. You have a great family. That's something to cherish.

    emoticon
    1491 days ago
  • JACKIEWALKS4FUN
    Really is amazing how resilient kids are. I remember being upset about so many things that happened only too see my kids outside laughing and having a good time. Really I guess they have it right, should not let anyone take our joy away for too long, they are just not worth it.
    I also like what your hubby said to do, giving those goodie bags to them (cake too) A wonderful example of, I think, kindness and hopefully a ripple effect to them and onward. Don't know if that makes sense, lo. You and hubby are a great team.
    Happy you are getting back on track. Ready to cheer you on. emoticon
    emoticon
    1491 days ago
  • DETERMINEDJANET
    Your hubby was very wise! Glad you are moving out from underneath all the emotion and are ready to take your health back!
    1491 days ago
  • IAMSUNNYHOWARD

    what a beautiful thing to do! Showing your belief is better than saying it! emoticon You took a negative thing and turned it around!

    Calories are sneaky-you figured that out fast! Good job sharing the calories- LOL

    emoticon
    1491 days ago
  • SWEETMAGNOLIA2
    That was a wonderful thought to give away the party bags with cake! I bet those 4.5 pounds will be off in no time.
    emoticon emoticon

    1491 days ago
  • HICKOK-HALEY
    God always comes through. He has ways of talking to us. I'm glad you are opened to listening. As a Human, sometimes that is hard. Glad your Son bounced back. You are showing him how to have a kind, and forgiving heart. Way to go! emoticon

    I have been pet sitting for a week, and have another week to go. My eating has been off. I too need to get back on the band wagon. emoticon
    Hope your day is super!
    1491 days ago
  • ICECUB
    JUST GET BACK IN THE SADDLE AND KEEP GOING. DON'T HURT YOURSELF BECAUSE OF WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DID.
    1491 days ago
  • 50YEARSAWIFE
    Yes, we all have those moments. All of us make decision we have to live with. You can get back on track. We are all here to support each other. Spark on!!!!
    1491 days ago
  • SMILINGEYES2
    Know I can not have red light foods in house. Made a cake for game night. Tossed leftovers. Feel wasteful but only way for me not to give in and indulge.
    1491 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    I totally agree with Lifenprogress. She said it perfectly, though I don't believe God is going to punish people for not showing up to a children's birthday party. Punishing yourself because people are undependable is self-destructive. You did your best. It sounds like you had a wonderful party planned. Unfortunately, you can't depend on other people. The majority of them will let you down. I'm glad you gave them the goody bags anyway as it is taking the higher road. I'm sure God would be pleased with that as He preaches forgiveness. I'm glad that you are moving on, putting this behind you, and taking care of yourself now.
    1491 days ago
  • LIFENPROGRESS
    When your child is ignored on a special day -- it is devastating to the parent. I know it. I know the hurt, the anger, the frustration. But the "party" doesn't make the day special. The love of parents and family is all important.

    You planned -- you provided -- but "friends" let you down. Let it go. This is a fault in their character, not yours. Let it go and let G-d make His Peace with them.

    emoticon Give your child a emoticon hug from me!
    1491 days ago
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