SP Premium
5,500-6,999 SparkPoints 5,739

Losing motivation quickly

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I always start these diets so fast and get into them gung ho!!! I am going to do it this time! I am going to lose it all so quick no one will recognize me when I go up home for the holidays, they'll think I had plastic surgery. I wish.... I wish I could afford plastic surgery. I wish that when I was actually at my thinnest calling myself fat that I could have seen what I would look like after losing one child...manic depression...a failed marriage and then a successful pregnancy ending in a c section. I wish I knew then what I am trying to learn now. To be happy with myself and the rest will come. Words that are so easily written and all to often spoken and yet my mind...better yet my heart doesn't seem to be able to grasp on to those words and believe them hold them true. My life has changed so drastically in the last two years...I now have a miracle and I call him my son...I have found the one whom my soul loves and hope someday to be worthy to call myself his wife...but there in itself lies the problem...I don't find myself worthy. Never have. He thinks I am worthy he loves me full heartedly and tells me so every day and even more he shows me everyday. I am a stay at home mom because he feels it is more important that our son be raised by us than a daycare and have money. He wants me to love myself so when I am failing at working out and he sees how much it hurts he offers to workout with me. And still I don't feel worthy. I don't feel the beauty that he sees and says...I don't feel his admiration of the work that I do even though he tells me all the time how awesome of a woman I am. I feel like a failure all the time.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • RHOOK20047
    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. You have to make you #1 and tell yourself that you are worth it. If you don't take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else. If I can help you on your journey in any way, give me a shout out! Losing it too fast is not healthy. You didn't it overnight so don't try to lose it that way. This can lead to other health issues. Just work it one day at a time. You can do it! We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon
    1656 days ago
    I am glad to see you journaling. I find it really helps to sort through the emotions that go along with trying to make a change like weight loss. We have so much wrapped up into both the number on the scale, and the food we eat, and the habits we have had most of our life. It is a hard change to make. Please, don't be too hard on yourself. We all start out excited, ready to move mountains. Then, we start pushing on that mountain, and we find out we can't just push it, we have to shovel it over one shovel full at a time. So, get out your shovel, and start to work. Just start small, but be determined to not stop. Because, if you do, in ten years you are going to look back at this day and wish you had been happy with small daily changes, and you will look back and wish you had not waited another ten years. So, start today, knowing you are not going to stop. You don't ever have to stop eating healthy. You are not on a diet, you are just making great choices and feeding your childs mama so you can be the energetic fun mom that can ride a bike and run and play with your child! You can do this. One little shovel at a time.
    1656 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Keep focused for more success.
    1656 days ago
    Think about how you would feel if you weighed what you weigh now but had just lost 100 lbs? Same weight, different journey. Think about how confident you would feel. Start there. Weight isnt the problem nor solution. It is just a tool along the way
    1656 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.