Surprisingly productive Tuesday
Tuesday, November 08, 2016
I love days like today. There is just something so great about getting everything done that you want to get done and feeling so accomplished in your tasks.
I am a SAHM, and sometimes it is a little hard to feel you are accomplishing anything or really pulling your part.
My whole life I have had an alarm clock telling me what time to get up, then someone telling me what was expected of me for the day (even when implied through job skills), then coming home and keep the house my mother always said you should. I've always had a lot of responsibility and people depending on me for things to get done. I am well organized, punctual, and well mannered. I thrive in a structured environment and now I have none of that.
Nothing that has been ingrained in me my whole life is now of use.
I don't wake up every morning to an alarm clock. I wake up from an urgent need to get my boyfriend off to work and then make sure my baby is fed. Other than my son feeling that I am there for his own personal amusement, no one expects anything from me. If the laundry doesn't get done...my boyfriend will do it. If the house doesn't get clean, it will just pile up and they walk over it. If there is no meal on the table my boyfriend will order out or make his own. If there are no clean dishes, he will wash some or buy paper and plastic. My house is well organized. Everyone I know makes fun of me and pities my son because of how organized I am. I am seldomly punctual for anything. It always seems like something happens only on the one day that I actually need to be some where and can never seem to make it on time. I am still well mannered however and would like to think that if nothing else, my son will get that lesson from me. Except when it comes to someone else's lack of manners or anyone making fun of my son, and then well like any mother I lose my s$&@!!!😎 I no longer have any structure other than what I try to maintain myself.
HOWEVER, I know that I have one of the most important jobs in the whole world, and I know I am one of the lucky few who are able to be a SAHM. Every morning I get to wake up to the most beautiful face that I have created and I get to see him grow, not just in passing as I'm walking us out the door, but all day. I get to smile at every laugh, I get console every tear. I get to kiss every boo-boo. I get the chance to be help mold his brain, and teach him to be a good boy so that someday he will be a good man. I get to hold him a little longer even though he is growing so fast. It seems like I am selfish because I get all this time and it is going so fast.
So in closing, I may not wake up to an alarm clock everyday, getting dressed may be an option, doing anything rather than building forts all day could not be in the cards...I may not do the things I used to think were important and a while bunch of people may not depend on me anymore, but I have two very special men in my life, one who will need me only for a little while, and one who chooses to spend the rest of his life with me. And for today that makes me a proud mom!!!