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6 YEARS LATER---I am flipping insane and still FAT!

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

2017 WOW!! So I am sitting at desk trying to decide what kind of cake to order, no occasion just wanted cake lol, and I come back to my spark page that I had open from earlier and decided to take a quick walk back down memory lane. The IRONIC part is today is my 6 year sparkaversary and I didn’t have a clue.

So 6 years ago today I found this amazing site. I mean this insanely helpful community of people who all had the same mission of getting healthy! I was in love I remember spending hours and hours online daily because I loved spark so much. Six years ago I set an oh so familiar goal to be 180lbs by my 25th Birthday HA! Now I am 30 and instead of a 2 being in front of my weight it is a 3 yikes. The crazy thing is the day I found out I was 269lbs (2011 weight) I was devastated I mean total quarter life crisis followed tears…depression and all. Today I haven’t weighed myself in about 9 months! So much has happened in the last 6 years a lot of BAD and a lot of GOOD so I won’t complain. In those 6 years of Sparking on and off I realized a lot:
1. I am a FOOD ADDICT!
2. I am a SUPER emotional eater!
3. I gave/give food too much power!
4. I have started this journey so many times BUT never finished.
5. You can’t force your body to do something if your heart and mind is not agreement.
6. Being overweight had STOPPED me from living!
7. Insomnia made me DEPRESSED
8. I wasn’t really sure why I was on this journey!!
9. I have accomplished every single goal I have very set EXPECT for this one.

So let’s fast forward to 2017… 6 years has passed and I am still FAT but I am not sad, depressed or miserable about it. Because so much growth and greatness has occurred in my life
1. I beat insomnia
2. I am no longer DEPPRESSED
3. I am debt free.. All my student loans are PAID woot woot
4. I now have a job that I LOVE
5. I am NOW a positive person (the book the battlefield of the mind CHANGED my life)
6. I am HAPPY the first time in 10 years I can say that and mean it!
7. I axed that fear of jeans! I actually redid my wardrobe after 7 years of wearing elastic waste pants
8. I am excited about LIFE!
So despite failing miserably repeatedly in this one area I am doing GREAT! I refuse to let the demons of my past failures keep me from doing what I know I can DO!! I have all the knowledge and tools to lose these 100+ lbs but can honestly say NOW that I allowed myself to become mentally defeated and once the mind is gone everything else (the new good habits, measuring food, trackings, exercising etc) will soon follow.

I am so REFRESHED! And so ready to kick some WEIGHT LOSS ASS!!!
I can and I will DO THIS!!!

2017 I am coming for everything that is MINE!!

Happy New Year Guys and I am back!! Now let me get back to the drawing board and come up with a game plan so I can FINALLY post that finale. That last chapter. That famous AFTER PIC

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey! Welcome back and thanks so much for the love on my page! I am trying to get recommitted and with your support, I think I'll get there! We can do this! So glad to see that you are happy and have found so much joy!
    1407 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16366222
    Welcome Back! I have been gone and back several times and I'm now starting over again myself!
    1419 days ago
    You can do this! Make small changes and stick with them!
    1419 days ago
  • AMYH217
    I am SO with you! I joined in 2010 and I have been on a very similar journey! I too have returned not for a resolution but because I am determined! Thank you for sharing! Look forward to watching you achieve your goals! emoticon emoticon
    1419 days ago
  • FONDAKAY1965
    You have the best attitude, maybe I should read The battlefield of the mind.... Good luck on your journey :)
    1419 days ago
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