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Day 813 - Putting the fun back in funeral

Sunday, February 19, 2017

We went to the funeral yesterday for the son of my friend Lale. The chapel was packed - they had to open up to adjacent side rooms for the overflow. Five guys who were all best friends with the deceased shared stories that had the crowd laughing amid their tears, and it was incredibly moving to hear them all talk about how loving and giving Derin was. After the service, both Steve and I commented that we felt like we knew him. Lale was thrilled that we made the trip down, but I felt in my heart that we needed to be there. I'm so glad we went.

Funerals are hard, especially when the one who has passed is still vibrant and full of life. Derin had just celebrated his 30th birthday last month, and his death left more questions than answers. But when people share stories that make people laugh, you realize that while they are physically gone, their presence is still very real.

I kept thinking that I want this for my memorial service. I want to be the kind of guy who touches people's lives the way Derin did. I want to be the guy that is the source for funny stories. I'd better get started.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My Dad wanted a celebration of love and life with his funeral. He asked us all to wear luau clothes to the funeral and have a wonderful celebration afterwards. We did, and at the clubhouse after when about 40 of the family were gathered, a stranger asked what our celebration was about. He really did not know how to respond to "Poppie's funeral" But it is the love that we live and share that will live on. It was very similar when my 32 year old niece died a year later of cancer. There is great sorrow and tears, but there is also great joy in knowing you love and were loved - and are called to continue to share that love in our world. That's what I keep holding onto!
    1467 days ago
  • FITNIK2020
    Sorry... iPhone fingeritis. Of late with one or two exceptions, funerals have taken a strange bent...sorrow, then a dash of humour. It always helps everyone. We've been to several this year where the eulogies include funny stories.
    1469 days ago
  • FITNIK2020
    Lately funer
    1469 days ago
    so very sorry for your friend's loss.

    I have known a few parents who have lost their children. My cousin was a Baton Rouge police officer, killed saving an informant on an undercover drug bust. That was Nov of 1988, and I remember it like it was yesterday.
    I had a friend whose daughter died in a single car accident when she was a high school senior. He holds a 5k every year on the Saturday before Father's Day to fund a scholarship in her honor.
    Parents should never have to face the death of their child. That's just not the way life should be!


    I am sure you are ALREADY the subject of some very heartwarming stories. Funny? Well, I don't know enough about you to say. But I know without a doubt that you have touched so many lives!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1473 days ago
    This is a sweet blog. I'm sorry that young guy died. It sounds like he left behind a lot of friends. emoticon
    1473 days ago
    It's so sad kids dying before their parents... Good thing you could make it to bring support to your friend and participate in a funeral in which the deceased happy moments were remembered. I would like to leave a smile in everyone I met.
    Nice blog to remind us to be better persons, so we leave behind just nice memories!
    1473 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15118206
    So I don't want you to leave any time soon, first of all, but, yes, I agree with you! I would also appreciate a celebration of my life that's uplifting and full of laughter!
    1474 days ago
    yes Steve it is very up-lifting to hear how people felt about your friends son. I have been to funerals like that and came away feeling just like you did! You are well on your way to achieving your wish, you strike me as a well rounded,fun and caring person!
    1474 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/20/2017 6:04:30 AM
    Those kind of funerals are life-affirming - wonderful! I bet you are well on your way as far as loving, giving and vibrant is concerned, Steve! Hugs!
    1474 days ago
    Sorry to hear of this sadness! It sounds like Darin lived his 30 years...may he RIP. And he had such good friend's who remember him with joy and laughter! Very special.
    I am glad you and Steve went to the funeral...I am sure it meant a lot to his father!
    May you have a good week and laugh!
    1474 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    It sounds like a beautiful and moving service. I am so glad you and Steve were there for your friend and were there to witness the joy his son brought into the lives of his son.

    1475 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    My daughter's step-sister had a "Before I am Gone" party just two weeks before her death of cancer last July. The friends and family came together in a hall, had a wonderful dinner, they all got to visit with her and show their love. No bands,dancing or anything like that, but she was able to see everyone important to her and that they thought SHE was important enough to them, to be there.
    Your friend's funeral service sounds like a wonderful variation on the love.
    1475 days ago
    You are that person, Steve... you are...
    .Your friend's son died much to young, so sorry.
    1475 days ago
    1475 days ago
    I couldn't agree with you more!
    1475 days ago
    What a great way to share thoughts of a loved one.
    1475 days ago
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