Thinking on change
Saturday, March 04, 2017
Have you ever found yourself along life's journey and suddenly come to a point where you have to make a choice of what direction you need to take? Yeah, that's where I am right now. It's not an easy choice to make, and I don't know how to explain it to people when they ask me what it is that I want to do right now. Because honest, I really don't know myself.
I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and why I wanted to do it. But now that I am there. I no longer want to be here.
In my past two positions, I found myself exhausted all of the time: mentally, emotionally, and physically. So much so, that it became the source of contention with my employers when I did start to seek help for those issues, because that seeking help came a little too late in the game. It was becoming all too clear that the career path that I had chosen, while I was good at it, was not healthy for me.
But what am I to do? I have to pay the bills somehow, and to make a career change as I fast approach my 50th birthday is not always an easy choice to make. I've somehow got to figure out a way to reinvent myself in a way that attracts people to my strengths that just happen to also be my passions. But what are my passions? What is it that makes me happy? I only know that what I do now is not it.
One of my passions is writing. So much so, that is what I studied in college. My first seven years out of college involved jobs in the technical writing world. In fact, when I tell recruiters that I am interested in technical writing jobs today, they literally laugh at me. Why do they laugh at me? I don't understand this laughing at me.
I thought I went in a direction in my life that was predestined to be the right choice. Needless to say, it was not the right one for me. I need to make better choices, and unfortunately they need to happen sooner than later. I've purchased books, taken tests, and done all kinds of things to identify what it is I need to be doing, and I laugh at the fact that each time, IT is always at the bottom of the list, while art and writing are at the top.
Definitely time to redefine myself.