Today is a Day to Giggle... Happy St. Patty's!
Friday, March 17, 2017
"Dr I'm So Sick!"
A lady says: "Doctor, Im so sick! I feel dizzy, everything spins and my heart is burning."
The man says "Ma'am...
1st, Im not a doctor, Im a bartender."
2nd you are not sick, you are drunk and
3rd... you're heart is not burning, youre left boob is in the ashtray!"
"Two Stunning Blondes!"
Two stunning blondes walk into a beauticians shop.
The stylist noticing their similarities asked "are you two sisters?"
"Why no." the first one giggled
"We're not even Catholic!"
Two unicorns walked on the beach in the rain, right up to the water's edge, looking at the boat sailing off in the distance.
One said to the other, “Oh, crap, was that today?"
"An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman"
An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya baastard! Spit it out!"