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Today is a Day to Giggle... Happy St. Patty's!

Friday, March 17, 2017

"Dr I'm So Sick!"

A lady says: "Doctor, Im so sick! I feel dizzy, everything spins and my heart is burning."
The man says "Ma'am...
1st, Im not a doctor, Im a bartender."
2nd you are not sick, you are drunk and
3rd... you're heart is not burning, youre left boob is in the ashtray!"

"Two Stunning Blondes!"

Two stunning blondes walk into a beauticians shop.
The stylist noticing their similarities asked "are you two sisters?"
"Why no." the first one giggled
"We're not even Catholic!"

"Two Unicorns!"

Two unicorns walked on the beach in the rain, right up to the water's edge, looking at the boat sailing off in the distance.
One said to the other, “Oh, crap, was that today?"

"An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman"

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya baastard! Spit it out!"
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LINOVER
    emoticon
    1487 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    emoticon
    1489 days ago
  • SURVIVOR61
    Some one need's to tell the yank's here in the good-ole USA that, they are celebrating St. Patrick's day today on March 17th....


    Saint Patrick
    Main article: Saint Patrick
    Patrick was a 5th-century Romano-British Christian missionary and bishop in Ireland. Much of what is known about Saint Patrick comes from the Declaration, which was allegedly written by Patrick himself. It is believed that he was born in Roman Britain in the fourth century, into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father was a deacon and his grandfather was a priest in the Christian church. According to the Declaration, at the age of sixteen, he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Gaelic Ireland.[13] It says that he spent six years there working as a shepherd and that during this time he "found God". The Declaration says that God told Patrick to flee to the coast, where a ship would be waiting to take him home. After making his way home, Patrick went on to become a priest.
    According to tradition, Patrick returned to Ireland to convert the pagan Irish to Christianity. The Declaration says that he spent many years evangelising in the northern half of Ireland and converted "thousands". Patrick's efforts against the druids were eventually turned into an allegory in which he drove "snakes" out of Ireland (Ireland never had any snakes).
    Tradition holds that he died on 17 March and was buried at Downpatrick. Over the following centuries, many legends grew up around Patrick and he became Ireland's foremost saint.
    1489 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/17/2017 4:26:04 PM
  • LSIG14
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1489 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17128132
    St Patty's Day is August 25th! ;-)
    1489 days ago
  • IMUSTLOSEIT1
    Love the flies. that little bugger isn't getting any of mine. emoticon
    1489 days ago
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