Almost back to where I started

Well, if this is a journey, this is the part where I got lost and had to go back to the beginning. I never got under 200 (but I was almost there), then I started reacting to one stress after another. I'm back up to 246, which is almost where I started. I have been experimenting with meditation, but at the expense of running and going to the gym. I don't know what to say, as I thought I had this beat, but here I am completely out of control again, not really wanting to get out of bed. Yikes, this is the most depressing blog ever, but at least it is a way of beginning again.