Monday, April 17, 2017
Yep, that's what I weight right now.
That is the biggest I have ever been in my entire life, including at 9 months pregnant.
I am miserable. I keep thinking back to when I was 139, back in like 2009/2010 or so. I was so happy. I felt good about myself, I knew I was doing good things. I was energetic and I could do all the things I wanted to do.
Now, I'm officially in a XXL for the first time in my life. I'm tired nearly all the time. I get sick easier. I am unhappy with how I look and feel. I get winded easily and I could spend hours on the couch. Some days I just can't seem to face life.
I want to make promises and goals, I really do, but they haven't worked out for me for years now. I come back her every now and then, but I don't follow through.
I'm at a loss at the moment.
I plan on starting up with workouts tonight, for what feels like the one thousandth time. One problem I am going to have is that I have gotten too fat for my knee brace. Boo. I may have to special order one as I can't find one any bigger than the one I already have anywhere around here.
Anywho, call this a cry for help I guess. Even though no one can really help me, but me. I'll do the best I can do right now. I'm currently single so at least I have plenty of time for meal planning, food prep, and exercise.
Thanks for listening.