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Eating myself to death ...

Sunday, April 23, 2017

I just weighed myself, I gained 10 lbs in one month ! I am literally eating myself to death. Very close to my highest ever weight. I am letting my love for food control my entire life.
My weight and lifestyle are affecting me in so many ways both physically and mentally.
At almost 400 lbs. I am restricted as to what i can do physically. My knees and back are wore out from years of abuse on my body. I get winded and tire easily as it is quite a struggle to carry around this much extra weight.
Mentally my self esteem is very low, I am getting so I don't want to even go to the grocery store any more because I am embarrassed to have anyone see what I have done to my self. Getting around is getting more difficult with each pound I gain and every day that I am sedentary. I feel like I am existing in this world but not really living, just going through the motions.
I know it is up to me to make changes in my life, I know it is not too late, I know what I need to do but it is definitely overwhelming. Having a hard time seeing past the big picture and how far I have to go.
I need to start taking those baby steps, work a little harder on getting rid of my "all or nothing " mentality and quit making excuses and feeling sorry for myself.
I need to do this, eating myself to death is not the way I want to spend the rest of my life. I am tired of life passing me by. Time to take that first baby step !

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am right there with you.....I have gained 10 pounds in the last month as well. I am an emotional eater and have had lots going on and have been eating to deal. Not a good idea! We need to take it one day at a time. I try not to look at the BIG picture because it is too overwhelming but if we just take one day at a time pretty soon it's 6 months and we are down 50 pounds. Don't give up!! Just start making one change at a time. You can do it!! emoticon
    1408 days ago
  • PEAJAY26
    You have nailed it. Baby steps. Rather than start out doing an all or nothing strict diet, perhaps start off by making sure to add several,portions of fresh fruits & veggies to what you are eating----- just make yourself eat the fruits/veggies before the rest of your food items.
    Remember you are NOT alone.
    1409 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    You certainly have lots of incentive to make changes to your eating. Keep the comfort you'd like in your body front and center. It really doesn't take all day to plan to prepare a few good meals and eat them. So many of us have spent so much time pouring over diet books and recipes and all that stuff that it can feel like a part time job. But it doesn't have to be. Start small with SOMETHING and make it consistent for a few weeks. Then add. It might just be dropping fast food one day a week, and whittling it down. Figuring out what's just right, not too much and not too little, is the real fine art in this. But it's either take the time to figure it out or live like you have been. There really isn't anything else.

    The two biggest obstacles for just about everyone : starting to make excuses very quickly for not sticking with a reasonable plan, and the what-the-heck effect, when someone makes a small slip and then goes overboard on overeating because she feels all is lost. Long term successful losers say things turned around when they caught themselves before a slip turned into days, weeks, months, and even years. But they also avoided slips in the first place by keeping the reasons they wanted to change front and center, and having a doable plan.

    Don't know why I'm going on and on. Indygirl is THE prime mover on this.

    Getting food down doesn't solve all problems, but it sure makes the others easier to deal with.
    1409 days ago
    Come join us over on Team 300lbs Plus. There's a challenge thread to lose 1 pound per week. There are 36 weeks left in 2017! We're a close-knit group, and we really care about each other. We'd love to have you!
    1409 days ago
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I gained fourteen pounds back this month, undoing months of progress. Today is my Day 1 again. I refuse to quit. No matter how hard it is, no matter how much I want to quit, even if I stop caring for a whole month and gain back a lot of weight... I cannot quit. And neither can you! We can do this together, with all of the support and resources available here. It starts right now, with your next choice. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1409 days ago
    You can do it! :)
    1409 days ago
  • -JAMES-
    You are a member of "Keto Clarity", but are you eating low carb, or very low carb?

    I'm having the feeling you want to change what you eat, that you want to eat low carb, but are actually eating just about anything. If you were eating low carb, and then switched, then of course 5 or 6 of the 10 pounds is water, not excess calories.

    Don't be all or nothing. Life is not like that, except for a very few people who are at the very best, say the best tennis player in the world, or best 100 meter sprinter. But that would make 99.999999% of us failures, and we aren't.

    Be better than you were yesterday.
    1409 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15152733
    Baby steps is the way to go! Set tiny goals
    1409 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17752158
    You DO have what you need to change your life. Do not look at the overwhelming...look at the doable...lose those 10 lbs! Then reward yourself eith something small that makes you feel good about yourself...Make a list of goals ...then just start down
    1409 days ago
    I know how hard this is. I started out at 324 plus. I am 5'3' and almost 70. I have abused my body too. I pay for it every day. But I will not quit. I deserve to be healthy and be able to do things ...like going to the store. My self esteem has been very low in the past but as a result of Spark People and the support of friends I have made here I have learned to like myself. You can do this. One day at a time. I am adding you as a friend because I am here for you.
    1409 days ago
    You can do this. It is hard...but will be worth it to feel better. This week I didn't lose any weight...very discouraging. You may be interested in Back to Chubby video page. She goes through her struggles weekly on YouTube. I enjoy following.
    1409 days ago
    (((((HUGS))))) do not give up on yourself. Yes, the big picture can be totally overwhelming. BUT you have the opportunity to break down the bib goals into small manageable bits. Take baby-steps. We're here for you and know you're not alone.
    1409 days ago
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