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Trying to dress the body I have

Monday, May 08, 2017

We have a busy year coming up. We have had the first of three nieces/nephews get married, and we have another 4 non-family weddings, and more graduation parties than I want to think about. I hate my body, I hate dresses, I hate shopping. That is a lot of hate, isn't it? For the first wedding, I was determined that I would wear something that I already owned. I would NOT make the frantic dash to the store where I would grab one of everything, in multiple sizes, and fill a dressing room with clothes that I didn't want. I have never had a good body image, even when I was thin. And I used to be pretty thin. I now have to mentally prepare myself to go shopping. I will literally be in a state of depression when it is over, and I will come home with some over-priced clothes that I don't even like, and probably a milk shake. I told my husband that I was going to wear something from the closet, I didn't have the energy for the trying on clothes marathon. Well, I tried. I really tried. But nothing fit well, at all. So, I made the mad dash to the store. I came home with a few things, and a so-so dress. Luckily it was chilly, so I could cover up most of the dress with a long sweater. Good enough. This weekend our godson is getting married. Ugh. I love him dearly, but this will require another dress, and photos. Ugh. So, for this wedding, I did my shopping on the internet. I could at least try the dresses on in my own home, and not in front of those horrible dressing room mirrors. I found one that will pass, three that need to go back, and more disgust. I have known about these events for some time. I have had lots of time to lose weight. I just didn't do it. I am riding this awful roller coaster of weight gain, weight loss, and it makes me sick. I have months to go on this ride. I am trying to look at myself with kinder eyes, and I am trying to eat better. I know that even a 10 pound loss would help a lot. I am tired of spending money on clothes that I don't like, and I am tired of the roller coaster. I am trying to dress the body I have, and I am trying to make peace with the fact that my body is not going to change unless I change. Change is hard, but living with my weight is hard too. I will keep trying, and as long as I don't quit trying, I haven't lost yet.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NAMU35950
    I hate shopping also, and dresses just dont look good on me emoticon
    1294 days ago
  • RETIREESMITH
    You speak for so many of us. I have some nice items in my closet, but I need to lose some weight for them to fit well; so, I hear your post.
    The hardest part of the journey is starting; and I know this because I've "started" several times. However, think of this as one step, one choice, one day, one 10-minute walk at a time. DON'T think about the "ALL" of your journey--that is overwhelming.
    Much success to you on your journey.
    1298 days ago
  • BEACHCOMBER16
    Oh, my gosh! I could have written this same blog. I am supposed to attend a wedding in 2 weeks. I look awful in everything I try on! I do not know what I am going to end up in. Probably something expensive I will not like and never wear again. Ugh!
    1298 days ago
  • IWILLSTILLRISE
    emoticon
    1298 days ago
  • MILPAM3
    I can't even believe you found more than one choice to bring home and try on. Rarely is there a style I care to try. I may have to go back to sewing.
    1298 days ago
  • MAGICAL13
    You sound like me.....we can do this girl.....I know we can.... emoticon emoticon
    1298 days ago
  • TRACY_E
    Like you, I hate shopping and trying on clothes because I don't like how anything looks on me. I had a year to lose weight for my own wedding but I didn't. I actually gained. But now I'm here, the wedding was three months ago, and I'm ready to change. SparkPeople has really motivated me this past week. Obviously holding myself accountable hasn't worked for me, but I'm hoping that feeling accountable to others on this site will help me maintain motivation. Change is hard, but we can do it!
    1298 days ago
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