Sunday, July 09, 2017
So i posted on the community feed but this is a little more of what happened. I have depression. I've had it off and on since having kids but I was "officially diagnosed" in 2010. This past year, I have done really good and went completely off of my medication as well as my anxiety medication. Well, my depression started coming back around April. On May 26th, something happened that was very traumatic that involved me having to take out a protective order out on 1 of my siblings. As some of you already know, I am a domestic abuse survivor from my 1st marriage so this triggered a lot of stuff that I had "hidden" away. My mother disowned me because I wouldn't drop the protective order and I have been called more names by people that are supposed to be family and love me more times than I want to count. I have been called stupid, over dramatic, told that I have no common sense. I have been lucky in the sense that my work family and my friends have been there but I still have demons that I have to fight and I will overcome them in time.
But as of right now, I CHOOSE to take my life back. I CHOOSE to continue on my journey to get healthy. I CHOOSE to forgive and to heal. If I allow myself to continue to be a "victim" of this depression, then my family and my sibling win...I won't allow that to happen. My kids and my boyfriend have been great supporters and my boyfriends family has just taken me under their wings and told me how wonderful i am. That has helped. So today, my daughter, who turns 12 in August, and I , woke up and decided to deep clean the whole house...to purge and get rid of things. We have been drinking our water like we are supposed to. My goal is to get down to 250 by next Sunday, the 16th. I lost 6lbs this past week as my weight had creeped back up to 260.
So to my family and those who turned their backs on me...ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. I AM NOT stupid. I AM NOT over dramatic because I am passionate about something. I HAVE as much common sense as you do. I AM wonderful and loved. YOU WONT DEFEAT ME with your ugly words and the nasty things you have said about me. Good luck.